Wedding By Color

Confession time: I have no design skills. I struggled to put together a simple colour scheme for my bathroom and I’m easily amazed by people who designed their own wedding stuff, like invitations and centerpieces.

I do though know what I like and what I don’t like and if presented with a creation, I have no problems declaring my opinion on it.

Because of this, I’ve been spending a far amount of time on Google Images and Yahoo images, looking up keywords like “purple flowers” and “original centerpieces” (I’m 99.9 percent sure we’re going with dark purple as one of our colours). It was this process that led me to Wedding By Color, a great website packed with design idea to uh, inspire you.

The site is really an online community for brides but what makes it different from other wedding blogging sites is that all the bride blogs are categorized by colour. Pick your colour (your options are: red, orange, blue, green, purple, pink, yellow, brown, black and white) and you’re taken to a list of blogs maintained by brides who are all using that colour in their weddings. Most blogs are packed with pictures of wedding stuff: everything from bridemaids’ dresses to cakes to favours. For an example of one particular pic-heavy blog, check out oldhollywoodbride’s black wedding.

You can also view posts by categories or tags (for example, the “flowers” categories will bring up any blog posts that have been tagged with or categorized as “flowers”) and there is a search let that lets you put in a keyword and the refine the results by colour. I tried this out using “Toronto” as my keyword and it actually did bring up some Toronto brides who were also going with purple (though it did also bring up non-Toronto brides as well).

So if you’re a design-challenged bride like myself, check out Wedding By Color. It’s packed with great ideas and much cheaper than hiring a professional designer!

According to this piece over in today’s Toronto Star, the big white dress is back. Judging from the designs I’ve been looking at, I say it’s been back at least for a year but according to the writer, this year’s Oscar red carpet, which saw a number of over-the-top ball gowns, is responsible for bringing back the BWD.

Now, this blog is supposed to be about “common sense” wedding planning and really, there’s nothing remotely practical about spending thousands of dollars on a massive white dress that you’ll only wear for a few hours. Really, if you think about it logically, it’s like buying a Mercedes and using it for one trip.

But as I’ve said before, there’s nothing logical about weddings. And while it is stupid to buy a dress you simply can’t afford, I do get the appeal of the BWD. As one of the sources in the article points out, for most women, their wedding is the only time in their lives where they will get to spend a good chunk of cash on a beautiful dress.And if that’s what you want to do (and can afford to do), then go ahead and do it. After all, a wedding that you look back upon with regret is just as bad as one that was shamelessly self-indulgent.

Want your upcoming wedding featured here?

In order to open up and diversify this blog, I’ve decided to start writing up mini-profiles on other people’s weddings. But first I need to find some weddings to profile.

If you’re a Toronto-area bride (or groom) who’s already done a fair amount of wedding planning (date picked, venue booked, approximant guest count) and you’d consider your wedding to be “common sense” in nature (meaning you’re not going into debt over the event but at the same time, you’re planning the wedding you want) send me an email at wedtoblog[remove space]@[remove space]gmail.com.

These profiles will be simple little things, based around the five Ws (who, what, where, why, when) and will give you a chance to share some of your wedding planning knowledge with other couples.

The interview can involve you or you and your partner and can take place over email, the phone or face-to-face; whatever works best for you.

It’ll also be up to you to decide how much personal info you want to reveal. We can just go with your first name, age and occupation or, if you have some sort of online profile, we could use your profile name instead of your real first name. Or we can list your full name and post a photo of you; again, whatever works best for you.

Hope to hear from some of you soon!

You’ll Want to Bookmark This Site

Fiancé Shawn and I are still quite early in our wedding planning so we’ve yet to encounter any real drama. But I’m sure that will change once we start announcing all the key details — the guest list, the location, the date, stuff like that. Then people will start generously “sharing” their opinions with us, on how they think things should be done and what we’re doing wrong.

So I’m happy that I’ve stumbled across the Offbeat Bride’s “Copy’n’paste conflict resolution” emails now, before the unwanted opinions start pouring in. Thanks to these emails, I won’t have to struggle to find a respectful but firm way of saying “thanks for your opinion but we’re not interested. Now leave us alone.”

Here’s a sample email: “"Oh my goodness — it's so flattering that you felt you could come and talk to me about your thoughts on my wedding. I love hearing all the different ideas that we get from friends and family — I think you'll be excited to see what we come up with."

Perfectly polite and perfect at getting across the message that this is our wedding, not yours.

There are also another four variations on this message which could be quite useful if you’re worried about nosey relatives/friends comparing your replies to their suggestions about what you should wear, serve or do at your big day.

This Is Wrong… Right?

I love the ocean. I could (and have) spent hours snorkelling amongst coral reefs and one of my favourite activities is scuba diving. A big reason why I love being in the ocean is that it lets me watch and interactive with marine life such as colour fish.

So not surprisingly, the idea of using fish popped into my mind while trying to come up with interesting centrepieces ideas. But that’s wrong…right? I mean, using living animals for decorations? Who could justify that?

Well, it turns out that there are more than a few brides who can justify this practice. They explain that you totally can use fish as centrepieces as long as certain steps are taken (don’t surround the fish with candles for example). And what to do with the fish at the end of the night? Give them away as favours!

Personally, I don’t feel comfortable telling my guests, “Here, take this fish home” and I don’t have enough space at home to keep them once the wedding is over. Can you rent fish? If you could, I guess that would solve that issue.

But there are still plenty of other issues, like noise vibrations and worrying about drunken guests swallowing the fish (something I never thought of until I read this thread). Maybe if your wedding was a small, quiet garden party, you could get away with using fish as centrepieces.

Because they certainly make for stunning centrepieces, much more interesting than flowers. But I don’t think fish centrepieces are right for my wedding.

What To Ask When You’re Looking For A Venue

If you’re shopping around for a venue like I am, you’ll want to check out this list of 20 must-ask questions.

1. Can this venue comfortably hold X number of guests for a [details]? 
   
2. How much does it cost to rent the venue on [week day] night? 
3. Does that fee cover all staff and if not, what are the additional staffing costs?
4. What kind of deposit is required and what happens if we cancel?
   
5. Will I be “sharing” this venue with other wedding parties?
   
6. Is there a special place for the ceremony and if so, is that place shared?
   
7. What’s the average per person food cost for [details]? Do you have any sample menus that you can send me?
   
8. Are outside caterers allowed?
   
9. What’s the average per person alcohol cost for [details]? Do we have the option of bringing in our own alcohol?
10. From what time until what time would we have the venue from?
11. Do you have any restrictions on décor? 
12. Do you have any restrictions on photography/videography?
13. Do you have any restrictions on music?
14. Is there a bridal suite?
15. Is there air conditioning?
16. Is there a sound system and microphone?
17. Is there free parking?
18. Do we need to pay for a liquor license?
19. Do we need to pay for a SOCAN license?
20. Do you charge for any of the following:
    - tables and chairs
    - security deposit 
    - cake cutting
    - coat check
    - clean up

But that's my idea!

Yesterday, while tweaking this blog, I noticed that one of my co-workers had left a comment on my post about the Berkeley Church. It mentioned that one of our co-workers had recently gotten married at that particular location.

Now, you’d think I’d be happy to read that; that now I could ask someone about his first-hand experience with what’s become my current pick in the venue race. That would have been the practical reaction but weddings rarely bring out practical emotions.

Instead, they bring out petty feelings, like annoyance. “His wedding was at the Berkeley?” I thought, scrunching my face in irritation at the screen, “But I wanted to use it!”

I realize how stupid that sounds. I am well aware that many other people have already gotten married at the Berkeley and I have no bad feelings towards my co-worker who thought of the idea first; it’s not like I think he contaminated the venue or something.

But still, the fact that I actually know someone who already held his wedding there makes it seem like a less original idea, like it really is something that’s already been done.

Unlike me, Shawn, my other half, was pleased to hear that I knew someone who’d rented the Berkeley. He also pointed out that at least this “someone” was a co-worker and not one of our guests; that to them, the Berkeley would be a new and fresh venue. This is an excellent point.

Plus it’s not like we’ve decided 100 percent on the Berkeley as our venue; there are still a few other places that we want to check out once the snow melts.

Some Money Saving Tips

I have a friend whose Facebook status recently stated that she’d started collecting bottles to earn extra money for her wedding. I’m not sure that she was joking or not.

Weddings, as everyone knows, are expensive, particularly if you’re getting married in the city. There’s an interesting thread over on the Canadian Bride Talkboards where brides-to-be are sharing their per person costs. Prices vary from $13 from $135. Guess where the $13 per person wedding isn’t taking place.

 

So how do you have a Toronto wedding that doesn’t put you in debt but at the same time is a memorable, special affair that you’ll look back on fondly, instead of with regret?  Well, here five ideas… 

1. Cut your guest list

One of the most efficient ways to trim your costs is to trim your guest lists. Now, I’m assuming that you’re paying for your wedding yourself, no parental money involved, so you can fully control your guest list. This means that you can say no, your mother’s entire book club won’t be attending the wedding or no, people under 18 aren’t invited.

Of course, this approach can result in some awkwardness, maybe even some arguments, but stay strong and remember that if you’re paying for it, it’s your call. Your bank account will thank you for it and you won’t find yourself annoyed on your wedding day at having to pay $120 to feed that old neighbour you always hated. 

2. Cheap out on the table wine

I’m not suggesting that you serve your guests Wild Vine but don’t feel that you have to serve the good stuff, even if Uncle Joe does consider himself a wannabe sommelier. There are plenty of good $10 wines out there and your caterer/venue should be willing to work with you to find something that compliments your meal while respecting your budget. Besides, if the bar’s been open for several hours before dinner, most people aren’t going to remember what wine you served at dinner. 

3. Shrink the cake

Repeat after me: you do not need a five-tier cake, you do not need a five-tier cake. Oh sure, they look pretty but they also cost plenty.  This chart shows how many people can be fed can certain size cakes but remember, many people won’t eat a piece of your cake, particularly if you’re offering other dessert options. And you’re that concerned that you might run short on cake, get a sheet cake as a back-up, it’s much cheaper than adding another couple of tier to your heart-shaped, icing-dripping cake-trosity.  

4. Set up a twoonie bar

I realize that this is a bit of a touchy issue. Some people find the idea of a cash bar just shocking and in incredibly poor taste. If you or your family is like this, skip this suggestion. You don’t want your wedding to be remembered as “the one where you had to pay for booze”.

But if this isn’t a sensitive topic, do consider having a twoonie bar. The nice thing about a twoonie bar is that it helps you out cost-wise but doesn’t make you look a total cheapass. It also helps countdown on wasteful drinking, something that could save you hundreds of dollars, depending on how your bar package is set up.

5. Ditch the extras

Do you ever watch “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”? Have you ever noticed how the “other” category is usually thousands and thousands of dollars? This is the category you have to watch out for, all the little stuff that adds up big time. Items that fall into this category that you can often get rid of or downscale on include programs (they’ll just end of in the recycling bin or worse, the trash); menu cards (let your meal be a surprise); transportation (no, you don’t need a limo bus); attendants’ gift (sure, get them something nice but be reasonable) and favours (again, be reasonable, no one’s coming to your wedding because they want stuff from you).

In fact, there's so many ways to cut down "extra" costs that I could write multiple entries on it.  I think I will in the future.

Destination Weddings

One of the biggest wedding trends of the past few years has been destination weddings. It’s no surprise as to why. According to the founder of DestinationWeddings.com, eight of the top ten destinations are in the Caribbean or South Pacific; scenic, sunny destinations that are so much prettier than some banquet hall in Vaughn.

Destination weddings can also be cheaper (many resorts offer free weddings if you book a certain number of rooms) and less stressful since the resort takes care of the majority of the planning. And there’s no quicker way to slim down an ever-growing guest list than to decide to go away to get married.

Of course, destination weddings do that there downsides (if you’re a control freak, this type of wedding likely isn’t for you which is why I’m saying no to this idea) but I can definitely see the appeal of them.

Two of my friends, J and S, are considering a spring 2010 destination wedding. While they’ve yet to settle on specific place, they have found a great book to help them out on this journey. It’s called The Knot Guide to Destination Weddings and is written by Carley Roney and Joann Gregoli.

Says J, the bride-to-be, “What I really like about this book is its thoroughness. It seems to cover all the little details that not all wedding planning material touches upon. And the other cool thing is that it provides a list of questions that one can ask when shopping for a specific vendor to understand whether it will suite your wedding needs. And it also has little tips on how to organize things both from the perspective of reducing the expenses and increasing the experience.”

The book also touches on the legal aspect of getting married out of the country, a topic that while less interesting than secluded beaches and tropical flowers, is something you need to look into before you leave the country.

For even more info on destination weddings, check out About.com’s collection of useful links.

But if you’ve decided to stay close to home for your wedding (and home is Toronto), check out my recently updated venue spreadsheet. I just added in the Gladstone. It’s probably not the place to go if you want to have an open bar (you have to pay per drink and that’s about $6).

The WedTo Venue List

Introducing the BlogTO Venue Spreadsheet! Okay, so it’s clearly a work in progress but over the next few months I plan to fill it out with details on some of Toronto more interesting wedding venues, venues that I’m considering for my own summer 2010 wedding.


All of these venues will hold at least 100 people for a sit-down dinner; are open at least until midnight on a Saturday night; aren’t ridiculously expensive and aren’t your standard banquet halls. I hope you find it useful!