Vendor Reviews Round Six: The DJ

I can’t believe I forgot to review my DJ!

DJ: Anthony Wright
Rating: 5 out of 5

Generally I have a very low opinion of wedding DJs and because of that I originally wanted to go the iPod route. Then, almost a year before our wedding, we went to a wedding where the music wasn’t only good, it was great.

After a bit of convincing from Shawn, I agreed to ditch my iPod idea and instead hire Anthony. I’m very, very glad we did.

Tony was prompt, professional and played exactly what we wanted. We gave him a very detailed must play/try-to-play/don’t play list and he stuck very closely to it though at the same time, he did throw in the occasional request or pick he thought was appropriate.

Anthony doesn’t seem to have a website but email me and I’ll put you in touch with him.

Vendor Reviews Round Five: Photographer & Live Musicians

Photographer: Carruthers Photography
Rating: 3.5 out of 5

This was a good lesson in you get what you pay for. Bruce was a great deal and did take some amazing shots but sadly, the ones of me were less than wonderful.

I do wish he had spent more time touching up my photos as well as given more direction to me. I know I told him we wanted natural-looking photos but really, I meant like, reality-TV natural. There’s far too many beautiful shots ruined by my armpit fat or my head being in a weird position.

I also wish Bruce had been better at communicating with us post-wedding. Pre-wedding he was great but then post wedding I kind of had to hound him to find out what was happening with our photos.

When we booked him last October, he told us they would be done in three-four weeks. This seemed really optimistic to me, especially since doing photos isn’t Bruce’s full-time job, so I wasn’t surprised he missed that deadline (it actually took about nine weeks to get them). I just wish he would have kept us in the loop on what was happening with them.

So would I recommend Bruce? Yes but only if A) you’re naturally photogenic or B)value a reasonably priced photographer who will get you some great shots more than having a photographer who’s going to give you that breathtaking shot of yourself.

The truth is, even if I did have that “breathtaking” photo of myself, it’s not like I would do anything with it besides include it in the photo book we’re making. And really, would that photo be worth $3000 or $4000? Personally, I have to say no.

I have some more thoughts on my photos but I’ll save those for another post.


Live Musicians: Vivian Victoria Ng (piano) & Renata Vidri (violin)
Rating: 2.5 out of 5

So of all my vendors these are the only ones I wouldn’t recommend. Actually, I would recommend the violinist, Renata. She wasn’t the friendliest of people but she was talented and professional.

As for Vivian, who was our primary contact, while, she can play the piano beautifully. And she did start off as being quite professional. Shawn and I went to her house where she and Renata played us some stuff including the particular song we wanted for my walk down the aisle and there was a clear contract signed.

But on the day of wedding, Vivian showed up at the venue without some key cord. We were getting ready to line-up to walk down the aisle when the minister came up to me and said the pianist was missing. She wasn’t really missing, she was running around the neighbourhood looking for a replacement cord but I guess this wasn’t clearly communicated.

She did eventually find the cord but then there were other issues and I was given the option of walking down the aisle to just the violin, which I said no to because the song I picked needed the piano.

Eventually things were worked out but the ceremony was late and I walked down the aisle in a pissy mood.

I know stuff like this does happen and I would have been more understanding about it if Vivian had at least apologized to me. Apparently she did say something to Shawn when we was over at her keyboard, trying to help figure things out, but you know what, as the bride and the person who hired you, you should talk to, or even at least email, me.

Yes, I Did Have Fun At My Wedding

I have to say that not only did I have a lot of fun at my own wedding but that it was the most fun I’d ever had at a wedding. Shawn also feels the same way. Here’s why I think we had such a good time…

The Guests: While I do wish that a few more of my friends could have been there, I don’t feel like we missed inviting anyone or that we invited anyone we shouldn’t have. Most importantly though I got to spent a good chunk of time with friends/younger family members and have fun with them, as did Shawn.

The Atmosphere: It was relaxed but not casual and personally I really liked that. Our candle-heavy décor and the venue itself also helped to create an almost nightclub-like atmosphere that naturally lended itself to plenty of dancing and drinking.

The Alcohol: Open bars are great; open bars that offer a wide range of alcohol are even better and that’s what I liked about ours, the variety it offered. We also only ran out of one thing, dark rum so that was good too.

The Music: For me this was the biggie because I love music, I love to dance and sadly, most of the wedding’s I’ve been to have bad music and no one dancing. This was not the case at mine, largely in part because the DJ stuck to the playlist that Shawn and I had carefully created. He mixed everything together in a way that kept the momentum going and also threw in his own well-timed selections. The end results was that a lot of people were dancing

Most of these are topics that I’ve already mentioned in my “how to have a fun wedding” mini-guide (I still need to write one up about alcohol and I promise to do that before this project is wrapped up). While these are all areas that you’re going to consider as part of your wedding planning, I do think that if you come at them from the perspective of having a great time, you’ll end up with more fun results that you and your guests will enjoy.

And yes, I think a good chunk of my guests did have a good time. Many people said they had a lot of fun and I have no doubt that those two dozen or so people who spent lots of time on the dance floor had a great time.

The only complaints I heard was that the music was too loud near the end and that some of the faster songs weren’t to everyone’s taste. But I expected that and I much rather caterer to the people who were out there dancing and having fun (including Shawn and myself) than those who’d just sit around regardless of the music situation.

Also, not everyone was a fan of our beer choice but I’ll discuss that in a future entry because that was certainly a learning point.

My next entry though will be focused on what you the bride can do to have a good time because the truth is, you can have best guests/alcohol/atmosphere/music in the world and still have a crappy time at your wedding if you don’t relax and stop worrying. I know letting go of control is hard but trust me, it can be done and on your actual wedding day, it’s for the best.

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Music

A while ago I started writing a few posts on how to have a fun wedding. I’d like to pick that up with this that is all about the music.

For me, music is one of those things that can make or break a wedding. While I’m pretty open to whatever for the ceremony, the cocktail hour and the dinner, when it’s time to dance, I want to dance but only if the music is right. Otherwise you won't see me out there.

I think a lot of people are the same so in order to get people dancing and having a good time, you have to make sure you have just the right mix.

And that mix starts with either a DJ or an iPod (or iPod-like set-up). Live musicians are wonderful but I do think you should only have them for the ceremony and/or first part of the reception. For the actual dancing portion you need more flexibility and versatility than a live band can give you. Unless the vast majority of your guests are all really into, say jazz, people will get bored listening to the same type of music all night long.

Because of that, you need to offer plenty of variety, especially at the start, so that people get up and move (though do keep in mind that not everyone dances so don't feel bad if some people never make it to the dance floor). Make sure your DJ takes requests and even ask your guests for song ideas in advance (this is especially key if you’re going the iPod route since you’re likely not to have the space and selection that a professional DJ would have).

At least for the first hour or so, include a few songs for the “older” people. This can be anything from classic slow songs (think Nat King Cole) to upbeat Beatles tracks. It’s generally a safe rule to say that as the night progressives, things can get faster and noisier but at the start, do a cater a bit to the older crowd and get them moving.

While it’s true that you need to ultimately trust your DJ to make the right song selections, you know your guests better than s/he does and because of that I strongly encourage you to detail out what kind of stuff should be played, as well as specific must-plays. Ideally at least a few of these must-plays have a strong connection to some of your guests (maybe a song you used to listen to a lot in high school or university) and will get them dancing.

At the same time, this is your wedding and I’m totally support the idea of a “Do Not Play” list. Do let your DJ know of any forbidden songs that you absolutely do not want played. After all, it’s important that you have fun too!

Here's a great blog post former another Toronto blogger that's packed with some great wedding song choices.

Questions to Ask Your DJ

Below is a list of questions you’ll want to run past any potential DJs before signing any contracts.

Off the top: If you’re dealing with a DJ company, first figure out who will be your actual DJ, get that in writing and then ask these questions.

1. How long have you been DJing for?
2. Roughly how many weddings have you done?
3. What events do you do beside weddings?
4. My venue is ___. Have you DJed there before?
5. What type of equipment do you use?
6. Do you have back up equipment?
7. What does your set up look like? Is there any signage? Can we cover up/remove that signage?
8. How much set up and tear down time do you need?
9. What will you wear to our wedding/We’ll need you to dress ____. Can you do that?
10. If we give you a “Do Not Play” list, will you follow it?
11. If you don’t have songs that are on our “Must Play” list, can we supply those songs to you?
12. And what’s the best way to do that?
13. How far in advance do you need our Do Not Play/Must Play lists?
14. Do you have a replacement in case you get sick?
15. What exactly does your fee cover?
16. What about overtime?
17. How does payment work? Do you require a deposit?
18. Do you require a signed contract?
19. Are you insured?
20. Do you require dinner/food?

Depending on your own preferences, you may also want to ask the DJ about emceeing your wedding and what the DJ’s emceeing style is.

Another area you may want to ask about is alcohol consumption. Generally wedding DJs don’t drink on the job but if your DJ normally plays clubs/parties/other less former events, you may want to clarify this point in advance.

Also, if you haven’t heard your DJ perform before, do ask if he/she has a mix you can listen to. Of course, wedding mixes will likely be quite personalized for each couple but any mix should give you a sense of the DJ’s mixing and song selection skills as well as whether or not the DJ is prone to yelling things out over the songs.

I Think We Have Our DJ

As a general rule, DJed music at a wedding tends to, how can I put this politely, suck. It’s the same cheesy songs wedding, after wedding, with too much catering to bland, middle-of-the-road tastes.

But last summer I attended a wedding where the music was actually great. The couple has music taste similar to mind and they didn’t hesitate to tell their DJ, a guy named Anthony, exactly what songs to play including such untraditional selection as several Girl Talk songs and even a few drum and bass tracks.

Then, perhaps most importantly, the DJ went ahead and played the songs that the couple wanted, mixed in with other, suitable tracks. The result was a very fun, couple-appropriate mix that had me dancing for several songs in a row (which I should add rarely happens at weddings even though I love to dance).

Now, if you’ve been reading this blog from the start, you’ll know that our original plan was to save some money and go with DJ iPod, something I still think we could do. But while he was originally on board with that idea, Shawn, my fiancé, has since decided that we should go with a real DJ. Shawn’s worried that using an iPod will result in unnecessary stress and people not dancing (because apparently people will only dance if they see a guy standing behind a laptop).

But like me, Shawn had never heard a decent wedding DJ until that wedding last summer. After seeing Anthony in action, Shawn was determined that yes, we would have a real DJ so, after bulking up our budget a bit so that we could afford this new expense, we contacted Anthony (who only works on referrals so sadly I can’t point you to a website for more info).

It turns out that he’s free on August 7 and willing to DJ five hours for us for a fee that’s comparable to other quotes I’ve seen (expect to spend around $150-$300 a hour for your DJ, with things like special lighting costing extra).

He’s also played the Berkeley several times before and that’s important because this means he knows the venue’s equipment, its layout and where exactly it is.

So now it looks like we are getting a real DJ, despite our original plans not to. Hopefully it’ll be money well spent.

In the next entry I’ll go over some questions you should ask your DJ before signing any contracts. In the meantime, if you know of any fabulous Toronto wedding DJs, post their names below or email me at wedtoblog@gmail.com.