Yes, I Did Have Fun At My Wedding

I have to say that not only did I have a lot of fun at my own wedding but that it was the most fun I’d ever had at a wedding. Shawn also feels the same way. Here’s why I think we had such a good time…

The Guests: While I do wish that a few more of my friends could have been there, I don’t feel like we missed inviting anyone or that we invited anyone we shouldn’t have. Most importantly though I got to spent a good chunk of time with friends/younger family members and have fun with them, as did Shawn.

The Atmosphere: It was relaxed but not casual and personally I really liked that. Our candle-heavy décor and the venue itself also helped to create an almost nightclub-like atmosphere that naturally lended itself to plenty of dancing and drinking.

The Alcohol: Open bars are great; open bars that offer a wide range of alcohol are even better and that’s what I liked about ours, the variety it offered. We also only ran out of one thing, dark rum so that was good too.

The Music: For me this was the biggie because I love music, I love to dance and sadly, most of the wedding’s I’ve been to have bad music and no one dancing. This was not the case at mine, largely in part because the DJ stuck to the playlist that Shawn and I had carefully created. He mixed everything together in a way that kept the momentum going and also threw in his own well-timed selections. The end results was that a lot of people were dancing

Most of these are topics that I’ve already mentioned in my “how to have a fun wedding” mini-guide (I still need to write one up about alcohol and I promise to do that before this project is wrapped up). While these are all areas that you’re going to consider as part of your wedding planning, I do think that if you come at them from the perspective of having a great time, you’ll end up with more fun results that you and your guests will enjoy.

And yes, I think a good chunk of my guests did have a good time. Many people said they had a lot of fun and I have no doubt that those two dozen or so people who spent lots of time on the dance floor had a great time.

The only complaints I heard was that the music was too loud near the end and that some of the faster songs weren’t to everyone’s taste. But I expected that and I much rather caterer to the people who were out there dancing and having fun (including Shawn and myself) than those who’d just sit around regardless of the music situation.

Also, not everyone was a fan of our beer choice but I’ll discuss that in a future entry because that was certainly a learning point.

My next entry though will be focused on what you the bride can do to have a good time because the truth is, you can have best guests/alcohol/atmosphere/music in the world and still have a crappy time at your wedding if you don’t relax and stop worrying. I know letting go of control is hard but trust me, it can be done and on your actual wedding day, it’s for the best.

Headed To The CNE?

Yesterday I was at the CNE and while I was there I noticed that home supply stores Bowring and Benix were there, selling off a wide variety of vases that would be ideal for centrepieces. Bowring was also selling those coloured décor gels that some people use in their centrepieces.

Everything was being offered at a reduced price and I have no doubt that at least some of these sale prices really were sales. I was actually at a Bowring last weekend and noticed that it had some nice though not exactly cheap vase option. Now, at the Ex, vases that were going for $40 at the store are on sale for $20. OK, still not dirt cheap but not a crazy price for a vase, especially if you’re creating the centrepieces yourself.

I’m not sure what the quantity situation is like but since at least some of what’s on sale is current stock, so something could probably be worked out. And at least at Bowring, you can leave your purchases there until you’re ready to go home so that you don’t have to walk around with a dozen glass vases.

I wouldn’t make a special trip to the Ex for these vendors unless you’ve already decided to use vases from one of those stores however, if you’re headed to the CNE anyways, you might as well head over to the Direct Energy Centre and check out what they have to offer.

Write Down The Details

I’m sure you’ve already been told dozens of times by now to get all the key details – start times, end times, deposit deals, etc. – in writing. And while I certainly add my voice to that chorus, I want to also take a moment to encourage you to also get all the little details in writing too.

Now, people say “don’t sweat the small stuff” but on your wedding day, someone will be sweating the small stuff. If you’re a super-carefree, go-with-the-flow kind of person, you might not be the sweater, but someone, your mom, your maid of honour, your venue contact, will at some point be staring at something and wondering if it’s looking the way it should. And that’s where having the small details documented comes in.


How these details are organized is up to you, the point is that you and those associated with you have a printed reference to everything from your timeline to your flowers to your cake. This way everyone’s on the same page, people are better organized (and therefor ideally calmer) and issues can be spotted and dealt with earlier.

Another reason for documenting the little details is that having all that stuff written down makes it a lot easier to get a refund, should things not work out. This seems to be a situation that pops up the most with florists and decorating, maybe because there’s so much “imagining” and “visioning” going on. Also, many decorators and florists sell packages that then get modified and well, if those modifications aren’t written down, you can see how things can easily go to a disappointing place.

The point is, it’s much easier to get money back if you can say, “Hey, there’s the email where you promise that for this price, I’ll get package A but with roses instead of lilies and no underlighting on the head table,” than to say, “Hey, I know the contact says that I’m paying for package A but don’t you remember how we talking about changing some stuff?”

A few details that you’ll want to get written down:

• All flower types and colours being used as well as approximate quantities; ribbons, bouquet jewellery and other related items should be detailed out


• Such vase/container/centrepiece details as size, shape, colour, quantities


• Such cake stand details as size, shape, material, any extras/enhancements


• Drapping details would include colours, fabric types, sizes and placement. This is an area where ideally you have a photo of what the drapping should look like, as well as a photo of what fabric(s) is being used


• Chair cover details would include colour, fabric type and any extras/enhancements. This is another area where a photo is ideal


• Your caterer should provide you with a detailed list of what exactly is being served and while you don’t need to know how many baby potatoes each person is getting, you will want numbers for your hors d’oeuvres and possibly even your midnight snack


• Bar details should touch on both alcoholic and non-alcoholic offerings and could even look at what types of glasses and garnishes will be available (though even I’ll admit that might be too detailed for some)

Registry Wrap-Up

So how have you spent your weekend? We got to spend ours going to Home Outfitters twice – once Friday night, then again today, to pick up presents.

While I love getting presents, it would have been nice if we could have just made one trip. However, the Bay/Home Outfitters registry program isn’t the most organized creation.

It’s also sort of slow. While they do warn you that you might have to wait a bit for your pick-up store to get your present in stock, they don’t state that waiting is the norm. Well, at least it’s the norm at the Sherway Gardens Bay. We waited about a month for our luggage, and then we only found out that it was there because we called.

Currently we’re waiting for a few other items that

were purchased from The Bay at least two weeks ago now. But I believe that today’s pick-up at Home Outfitters will be out last registry-related trip out there so that’s good.

Overall I have to say that we had a better experience with Home Outfitters than the Bay. The staff was pleasanter, items arrived quicker and it never forgot to call us when something arrived.

Home Outfitters also said that it would take 10% off the Dyson we registered for as part of its registry completion program. The Bay has the same 10% completion program however there that discount only applies to certain departments and sadly the Dyson doesn’t fall within one of them (in case you’re wondering the discount basically applies to china, glassware, cookware, linens, small appliances and most kitchen-related stuff, minus major appliances).

Interestingly, we had more people buy items from The Bay than Home Outfitters. I’m assuming that’s because Bays are generally located inside malls and can be a bit easier to get to than the big-box style Home Outfitters.

Because of that, I certainly wouldn’t recommend registering at just Home Outfitters. As well, the Bay offers a far greater selection of items, particularly if you want to start a china collection.

So here’s what I do recommend: Register at both stores but place any bigger items (like a Dyson) on your Home Outfitters list. I also recommend placing smaller items, wine charms for example, on your Home Outfitters list since it seems to go a quicker job at getting those items in.

I know a lot of brides aren’t big fans of registering but while it can be a bit time consuming, it can also be fun and it makes all those people who rather buy physical gifts than give cash happy.

Just think of this as your opportunity to get all those things that you would normally never buy. For example, we registered for a steamer and we got it and trust me, a steamer is something we never would have just gone out and bought.

A Trio of Photos

Below are a trio of photos taken by my sister's fiancé. I'm hoping to post a few more, including some professional ones, once they come in.

Your Wedding Day Plan

While I don’t think it’s possible to have a stress-free wedding, I think you can minimize the stress by being as organized as possible.

One way to do that is to have a wedding day “plan”, a simple-but-detailed-pack Word doc that you can email/give to your bridal party, venue and other key people.

I think everyone’s plan will look a little different depending on her own situation (and how detailed-oriented she it) but here’s an outline of how my plan looked:

Title: Lindsay & Shawn’s Wedding, Saturday, August 7, 2010

Total Guest Count:

Meal Breakdown

Beef:

Salmon:

Veggie:

Timeline

Friday, Aug 6, 2010

Details about delivery of our alcohol & décor

Saturday, Aug 7, 2010

A detailed breakdown on what was to happen when. Make sure to include the following items (assuming they’re applicable):

- Wake-up time

- Any times about when certain people should be meeting you/your partner

- Hair & make-up start/end times

- Photographer start & end time

- Other photography-related items such as when you have to be at, and leave, a specific location

- Officiate arrival time

- Live musician arrival time

- Bridal party arrival at ceremony site

- Ceremony time

- Bar start & end time

- Bridal party arrival at reception site

- Grand entrance

- Dinner start & end time

- Start time for any speeches

- DJ start & end time

- First dance

- Cake cutting

- Bouquet & garter toss

- Midnight snack

- Last call

- Last dance

Monday, Aug 9, 2010

Details on us coming back to the Berkeley to pick our stuff up

Contact Info

Bride:
Groom:

Best man:
Maid of honour:

Décor helpers:

Bakery:

DJ:

Flowers:

Live Musicians:

Minister:

Photographer:

Hair:

Make-up:

Floor Plan Guide

The Berkeley has an Excel-sheet floorplan that I marked up and included in my wedding day plan. I used this space in the Word doc to expand upon my markings.

I started by listing off all of the tables, what their table names were (since we didn’t use numbers) and how many seats should be at each table.

Then I commented on the placement of some of the other tables that were used so:

Table A = Cake table

Table B = DJ set up

Table C = Escort card table
Etc.

Other Notes

Down here I mentioned other key things that people, particularly the venue and my bridal party, would need to know, for example, that we wanted purple uplighting and that tea lights should be placed wherever it made sense

Be wary of putting in too many details. Try to keep your wedding day plan to about two pages in length; any longer and you risk people being scared off by the length. You can also put together a separate, more detailed-heavy document for people like your décors helpers who need more instructions.

RSVPs and Us

One of the biggest sources of stress for any bride are the RSVPs. I know it seems like such a simple concept, simply let the bride know whether you can or cannot attend by a certain date using the pre-addressed and stamped card, but the bridal boards are filled with stories about people who just don’t get this.

Thankfully, I wasn’t one of those brides. Our RSVP date was Friday, July 16. By the start of that week, we’d heard back from almost everyone except for a few of my friends and some family on Shawn’s father’s side.

Shawn, being the impatient boy that he is, didn’t want to give people until the actual deadline to get back to us so I found myself emailing or Facebooking my friends prior to July 16, asking them what’s up.

I suspected that I hadn’t heard back from some of them because they knew they couldn’t make it and were maybe embarrassed to tell me. I don’t know if I was right about the embarrassed part but I was right about the them-not-coming-part.

I also heard back from one friend who said she was pretty sure she could make it but wouldn’t know until a few days before the wedding because of her work. I told her I would love it if she could come but then proceeded on the assumption that she wasn’t coming (the venue told us it would be easier to add people in them take them out). Turns out my assumption was right as she didn’t end up coming.

All of Shawn’s slow-to-respond family did attend. I’m not sure what was up with them not getting back to us sooner, after Shawn confirmed their attendance over the phone they did send in the RSVP cards so it’s not like they lost those.

One family did have a very good reason for the delay though; they had just had a new baby and were taking her to her first wedding on July 17. They were only going to come to our wedding if all went well there and thankfully it did.

Overall, I think Shawn was more stressed about the RSVPs than I was, probably because I’d spend time on the bridal boards and realized that compared to some, we were in good shape.

Many people do cut it close with sending in the cards so don’t be surprised if you’re two weeks out from your RSVP date and are still missing lots of cards. Only start making “contact” plans when you hit that one week mark and even then you may want to wait until the actual date has passed before you start getting in touch with people.

Getting the thing actually in the mail seems to be a real challenge for some so make it easier for people by giving them an opportunity to give you their RSVP cards in person. Have a family gathering or a party with friends coming up? Remind people that they can give you their cards then. Or tell co-workers that they can just drop the cards of on your desk.

Another trick is to give people the option of Facebooking or emailing you their respond though if you go this route, still include RSVP cards in your invites. This will make the old people happy and to be honest, I think it’s easier to organize physical cards than emails and Facebook messages.

Wedding Stuff For Sale

So I have few leftover wedding items that I'm hoping to sell off.

Let's start with the candle holders.

I have eight of the purple ones and over three dozen of the clear ones (I used them in lieu of traditional escort cards). The clear ones can hold a tea light or, if you flip it around, a regular candle stick.

The purple ones are going for $2 each or all eight for $14.

The clear ones are going for $1 each but I'm open to working out a deal if you want a bunch of them (and if you need more of them, you can get them from Ikea).

I also have for sale eight 12x12 mirrors, also from Ikea. I'm selling them for $2 each or all eight for $14.

All of this stuff is available for pick up in Toronto or I could ship it to you at your expense.

And if you want a bunch (or maybe all) of it, let me know and we can work out a deal. I be reached via this email address: wedtoblog[removethispart]@gmail.com

Spent Vs. Saved

So as promised in yesterday’s entries, here are five areas where we’re glad we spent the cash and five areas where we’re glad we saved.

Spent

The venue – As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, the Berkeley Church isn’t cheap but it was exactly what Shawn and I wanted and we received tons of compliments on the venue as well as the food. The staff was always friendly and while we had some communication snags with our initial planner, the planner who replaced her, Kathy, was quite helpful.

Open bar – No question, an open bar was the way to go. It certainly helped to get people up on the dancefloor, speaking of which…

DJ – So my original plan was to go with DJ iPod, an idea that Shawn shot down and I have no problems saying that I’m glad he did. We ended up getting a great DJ who closely followed our playlist while adding in his own touches at just the right moment.

At-home hair & make-up – I think being able to get ready in the comfort of my own home, and not have to worry about rushing to and from somewhere, really helped to make the wedding day more relaxing.

Hotel room – This is one of those areas that I initially thought was a waste of money but the truth is, being able to head to a hotel after the wedding was a nice treat, as was the swim we got to take the following morning. We stayed at the Thompson Hotel and its lovely rooftop pool totally made up for the alarm clock that went off at 6 in the morning and the scent-heavy detergent used on the bedding (and no, I’m not one of those anti-scent people).


Saved

The dress – Technically this is an area where my parents saved but whatever. My dress, which I quite liked (I’ll post a picture at some point) was quite reasonable for a wedding dress of its style. All in, including alternations, the veil, fancy dress bag and taxes, the dress cost under $1,500 which while not cheap, is a good deal considering its size and the amount of detailing it had.

The wine – Our wine was $11.95 a bottle and personally, I thought it tasted just fine, as did many other people. As any wine expert will tell you, the cost of a bottle of wine has nothing to do with its quality so don’t feel like you need to spend big bucks on your dinner wine.

Décor – We cheaped out big time here. All our décor, including our centrepieces and the few flowers we used for the head table/ceremony and the escort card table came to maybe $500. And some of that we’re getting back because I’m selling what I can on the bridal boards (actually, I should probably post that stuff on here too). While we certainly could have spent more here, I don’t think we really had to. The inside of the Berkeley is quite pretty with its stain glass and fireplaces. Plus it helps that the Berkeley includes coloured up-lighting and dozens of tea lights all over the place.

The flowers – The flowers we got were beautiful; Picasso lilies are now my new favourite; but we didn’t have a lot of them and in the end, I think that was fine. Our cake was actually supposed to be decorated with fresh flowers but for whatever reason the florist forgot to bring those so the cake went flowerless. At first I was a bit annoyed but then, as I thought about it, I was OK with what had happened because I realized that I no longer had to pay $35 for something that would be used for a few hours and then thrown out.

Transportation – We didn’t pay for any special transportation and while fitting my big dress in the back of our SUV was a bit awkward, it was certainly preferable to paying some obscene amount for some tacky vehicle.

How Our Wedding Budget Worked Out In The End

Money and our wedding budget has been a regular topic on this blog so now that it’s all done, I might as well give you a summary of how we did numbers-wise.

We were actually under the new budget though over the original one. The original number we were trying to work with was $20,000 but earlier this year we scrapped that and replaced it with a budget of $25,000. In the end we spend just over $23,000.

Now that last number doesn’t include all of our costs, just what Shawn and I paid for. Some items, like my dress and our live musicians, were paid for by my parents while Shawn’s family contributed some money towards our bar costs. Factoring in everything, we probably spent just under $27,000 which, for a downtown Toronto wedding with an open bar, isn’t crazy.

We could of though brought that number down a bit by making these two big changes:

1. The venue – We loved the Berkeley Church but it wasn’t cheap. In all, we spent about $15,000 there and while Shawn and I both agree it was well worth it, we definitely could have saved some money by using another venue.
   
   
2. Having an open bar – Again, this is something we wouldn’t have changed but if we had, we have saved ourselves well over $1000 (assuming of course we still paid for the dinner wine).

Tomorrow I’ll post an entry that looks at five areas where we’re happy we spent the money and five where we’re glad we saved it.

10 Random Wedding Lessons

And we’re married. The wedding was this Saturday and overall it went quite smoothly and was a lot of fun.

But while the wedding might be over this blog still has a bit of life in it and I will definitely be making a few more entries to help you out with your wedding planning.

Let’s start with 10 random things I learned from this past Saturday…

1. Take time off before the wedding: Shawn and I were able to take the whole week off and that was very nice. If you can’t do that, try to take at least the Thursday and Friday off.

2. Take time off after the wedding: But I wouldn’t recommend taking your actual honeymoon right after the wedding. I’d be way too tired to properly enjoy my honeymoon if I was on it right now.

3. Write out a detailed timeline: Ok, maybe you’ll be the only one who really reads it but writing out a detailed timeline will likely help you feel more prepared and will help you discover any missing items.

4. Write out a packing list: A few days before the wedding, write out what you need in what bag and then refer to the list as you pack things up.

5. Remember, you can return liquor: As long as you have the receipt and your permit. So don’t lose those things and err on the side of too much rather than too little.

6. No one looks at the website: Ok, this isn’t completely true; I know some people did check out our wedding website. I also know that most people didn’t and so because of that fact, I’m glad I didn’t spend too much time on it.

7. The caterer always makes extra meals: Worried you screwed up the meal list? Or maybe someone decides they want ribs instead of salmon? Don’t worry, most caterer prepare extra plates.

8. Have a “quiet area” for the old people/non-dancers: For us, the quiet area was outside where the old people could also smoke.

9. Use your dress’ “dancing loop”: I found our first dance to be quite awkward because of my dress’ train. Then, maybe two-thirds in to the dance, I remembered that the dress had a special loop sewed onto the train that I was supposed to wear on my wrist so that it was easier to dance in it. Oops.

10. Get your baked goods from Sweet Escapes: Our cupcakes were a huge hit. We bought 120 and had about seven leftover. We only had 98 guests and I know not everyone had a cupcake so yeah, they were popular.

The Clock Is Ticking...

Only four days to go and I’m very glad I took this week off work. I have a few errands I have to run today and then tonight I’m steaming my dress and going over the music with our volunteer DJ (the real DJ doesn’t start until nine so the volunteer DJ will get the iPod started for the cocktail half-hour, dinner time and run it during our entrance/first dance/speech/cake cutting time).

This past weekend was super busy with my sister arriving in town on Friday night; my hair getting done on Saturday (it took four hours!), my stagette and Shawn’s stag on Saturday night (more on that later), my bridal shower on Sunday and then yesterday we finished these tasks:

• Created the centrepieces (at least as much as we could In advance)
• Packed up most of the décor
• Gave our pre-dancing playlists one last listen and loading them up onto my iPhone
• Created a super-detailed timeline (complete with key addresses) and sending that out to the relevant people
• Completed the set-up notes and sent those over to our décor helpers
• Finished off our “notebooks” (more on these later)
• Started organizing my day-of bag
• Wrote all the checks that need to be given out on Saturday

This morning I also steamed my veil and my party dress.

So while most stuff is done there’s still a handful of tasks that need to be completed. But at this point in time I have no doubt that everything will get done for Saturday.