Mexican Wedding: The Reception

After a tropical rainstorm washed away the original plan to have our friends’ wedding dinner on the beach of the Mexican resort we were at, we found ourselves in a private room attached to one of the resort’s restaurants.

While the room was certainly no beach it did the job for dinner, which was quite tasty, particularly the dessert.

Then it was time to dance and this is when the evening started hitting a few snags. The bride and groom asked for some of the dinning tables to be moved so that we could have a dance floor. They were told this wasn’t possible since some of the tables were secured to the floor. This was very much a lie since we’d all seen this room (it has glass walls) without any tables in it. But whatever, we just danced around the tables.

We also ran into issues with drinks. In the original plan, the dinner was to have its own bar. This idea was no longer practical once we were moved indoors but it also shouldn’t have been an issue since the restaurant had a bar. But despite that fact, it was still hard to get a drink.

At 10:30 pm we were kicked out of the room (something we knew would happen) but thankfully we were able to continue the celebrations over in the bride and groom’s suite, which had been upgraded to the much bigger and better presidential because of the broken beach bed incident. So at least that incident had one silver lining.

Both the bride and groom acknowledged that things didn’t go quite as planned but in the end they were happy with how things had turned out. And from a guest’s perspective I think everyone had a good time.

Below are a few more destination wedding tips and in a future entry, I plan to run over the pros and cons of a destination wedding. While I think this was the ideal type of wedding for my friends, I definitely don’t think a destination wedding is for everyone, myself included.

• Overpack and bring extras of such key items as foundation or nail polish since you may not be able to specific brands/colours at your destination
• Create a wedding day itinerary (including a rain plan) and pass it around to guests so that people know where they should be when. If you’re at a big resort, include a map since there might be multiple gazebos, beach ceremony sites, etc.
• Resort photographers can be expensive so be prepared to arrange your post-ceremony time so that you can cram in all the key moments you want photographed. This might mean doing the first dance between courses or fake cutting the cake
• Don’t be afraid to speak up if you don’t like how something seems to be shaping up, for example, maybe your ceremony location isn’t quite in the spot you pictured it being. Resorts are well aware that an unhappy bride is a complaining bride and they are usually willing to work with you to get you want you want (within reason of course)
• Also don’t be afraid to ask about upgrades or freebies. Because of the public nature of many destination weddings, it can be in the resort’s best interest to say, “surprise” you with a saxophone player who just happens to also be audible by other, impressed guests
• And finally, while you might be at the resort with your family and friends, you don’t need to spend every waking moment with them. Make sure to crave off some private time for you and your other half

Mexican Wedding: The Ceremony

By Mexican law, you have to be in the country for four days before you can get married there. So our friends got married on Thursday, April 15.

The ceremony was on the beach and it was quiet pretty though I kind of felt like we were a show for the other guests. There were people sitting on chairs and beach beds on either side of the ceremony site and most of them were clearly watching us (not that I wouldn’t have done the same).

The resort did have people on either side of the ceremony site, making sure that no walked or even swam behind the archway, something that I think every beach wedding should have.

The ceremony itself was short, sweet and partially in Spanish since that’s Mexican law. The bride and groom both looked great and I think that overall the ceremony went just fine.

After it was done, the bride and groom went off to have some pictures done and the rest of us (there was about 16 of us) went over to this gazebo-type thing for cocktail hour.

This was around the time in the day when it started to rain. It started off gently and then it began to pour. The weather had been like this for the past couple of days so everyone was prepared for the rain.

The original plan was for us to have our dinner on the beach but once it became clear that that wasn’t going to happen, the resort arranged for us to have it in a private room off one of the restaurants. More on the reception in the next entry.

A few beach wedding tips:

• Talk to your wedding coordinator about a rain plan
• Also ask about “security” and what the resort does to keep your ceremony and other events free of uninvited guests
• Resort salons can be super-pricey so be prepared to do your own hair and make-up
• And speaking of hair, avoid doing anything too fancy since it can get pretty windy on the beach
• On the positive side, all that wind can do amazing things for the right gown so think long veil, light-weight fabric and other elements that will catch the wind
• Most importantly, have a relaxed, flexible attitude towards your beach wedding. Distance, language differences and the fact that many wedding-oriented resorts host multiple events in a day mean that a destination wedding can be a lot harder to schedule and control than an at-home wedding so be prepared to just go with the flow

Mexican Wedding: The Resort

Alright, it’s time to tell you about my recent trip to Mexico for my friends’ destination wedding. Let’s start with the resort.

We stayed at the Mayan Rivera all-inclusive resort the El Dorado Seaside Suites. Forbes called it “one of the 10 most romantic hotels in the world” and it claims to be five-star.

Well, the resort was quite beautiful and romantic but I wouldn’t quite call it five-star, maybe Mexican five-star but the attention to detail and maintenance wasn’t quite at what I would consider a five-star level (more on that later).

Our room was wonderful. It was huge and had marble floors, giant marble shower, a Jacuzzi, a balcony and double sinks. But the rooms varied in amenities. For example, we had a king sized bed, a flat screen TV and a separate sitting area. But some of our friends, who paid the same price as us, had old TVs, smaller beds and no sitting area.

Also, the bride and groom paid more for a “swim-up” suite that included a pool in front of it. This was a fun feature but their actual room was smaller than and not as nice as ours.

One of the big selling features of this resort is the food and booze. At night it’s all à la carte dining and there are six restaurants to choose from. The food and the alcohol selection was great and things were quite yummy though it would be nice if you could make reservations (some nights it was hard to get a table in our first or second choice place). Sadly, I couldn’t fully enjoy this aspect of the resort because I caught some kind of food poisoning (I’m pretty sure I caught it from an off-resort restaurant).

On TripAdvisor.com, there were a lot of complaints about the beach and the swimming area but I thought it was fine. Sure, it could have better sand and the swimming area is bit rocky but the water’s fairly warm and calm and there are plenty of fish and even some rays swimming around. We also found quite a few crabs and even a lobster. Unfortunately a hurricane really smashed up the reef a few years ago but it does seem to be coming back.

The resort is located about 20 minutes south of Playa Del Carmen and 30 minutes north of the Tulum ruins. It’s an area that’s packed with stuff to do including scuba diving. Shawn and I were really hoping to do some diving but on the second day he had an accident that crushed that dream.

The El Dorado’s beach is dotted with wooden, four-post “beach beds”. Some of the beds are regular, one-level beds and then some are two levels, with the second level being about six feet off the ground.

On our second day, the bride and groom claimed one of these beds. After lunch the bride, groom, Shawn and I were planning to all sun tan on it (they are quite large) but I left to get a book and the groom left to get a drink. This left Shawn and the bride on the bed. And then somehow it collapsed and they both fell head first to the ground.

In the end everyone was OK. But Shawn and I decided it would be wise to skip the scuba diving since he was knocked out for a bit and his back was sore.

We went to the Playa Del Carmen hospital (quite nice and pretty quick) to get Shawn and the bride checked out and the resort covered the cost of that, as well as the ambulance, the taxi the groom and I took and the prescriptions that Shawn and the bride picked up (for pain). They also paid for massages but only after we asked. The bride and groom were also able to get quite a few wedding-related upgrades but the only thing Shawn and I got was a bottle of sparkling wine.

So that incident kind of put a damper on things. I thought the resort could have been a quicker to apologize (I think the only resort we got anything beyond the medical expanses paid for was because the groom demanded to speak to the general manager) and obviously those beds could have been better maintained (throughout the week we noticed at least a couple other single level beds that were busted).

I would definitely recommend the Mayan Rivera as a great location to check out but I don’t know if I could confidently recommend the El Dorado Seaside Suites. While in many ways it was a great resort, it wasn’t exactly the safest.

I'll share more on the actual wedding over the next two entries.

My Wedding Hair Trial

Since I want my hair done at home on my wedding day and I don’t want to pay $200 to get it done, I’m going with a company called The Mobile Stylist. It’s run by a woman named Charlene and she assigned me a hairdresser named Bene. Since it’s cheaper for me to go to them for the trial, yesterday I headed up to Charlene’s condo in North York.

To be honest, I was a bit nervous about the whole. Though I had photos of what I wanted done and I was assured by Charlene that Bene knows what she’s doing, I was still worried that I was going to end up blowing $68 on shitty hair style and then I’d find myself in a desperate search for a new stylist.

Last night I had my hair trial done.

Thankfully my worrying was for nothing. Both Charlene and Bene were quite nice and

during the appointment they talked about their business and previous jobs in a way that reassured me that they are true professionals who show up on time, stay late if needed and get the job done properly.

Bene was great at taking criticism and suggests, from both me and Charlene. She nailed the back of my hair on the first try but the front wasn’t looking quite right. So she played with it bit and we figured out a way to make it look much better.

She also took lots of photos on both mine and her camera so that we have something to look back at on my wedding day.

So overall I think things went pretty well and I’m quite happy with the end results.

Some general hair trial tips:

1. Figure out one or two stylists that you like and then bring images of those styles
2. Bring your veil and any hair jewellery you plan on wearing
3. Wash your hair the night before are you normally. Blow drying it with a paddle brush is fine would but don’t style it or put any products in it
4. The morning of your trial just brush your hair and leave it loose, free of any products and heat

Bridal Magazine Envy

So earlier this week I cracked open a bunch of bridal magazines for the first time in probably two months.

I was looking for hair style inspirations but I quickly got distracted by all the great décor-type images these magazines contain. While I’d seen all of these pictures before, some of them really caught my eye this time around, generally images that were really elaborate, original or expensive looking.

And then I felt a bit sad because my wedding isn’t going to have an archway made out of flowers or personalized name cards on the back of each seat or even table overlays with matching charger plates.

I know, I know, it’s stupid. The whole point of these magazines is to give you unrealistic expectations so that you spend more money but still, I couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed in what we had planned so far. It just all seemed so predictable and boring.

And it’s not even just an issue of money. Sure, a bigger budget would help, but more than a few of the ideas that caught my eye could probably be done for a reasonable price if you had the time and the manpower. Sadly, I don’t have much free time and am not the least bit crafty, nor do I have group of crafty friends who I could put to work.

So no breathtaking, original wedding for us. I know this and most of the time I accept it but just every now and then, when I see a certain image or item, I have to remind myself that while gorgeous flowers and clever escort card displays make for wonderful pictures, they don’t guarantee that a wedding will be fun and enjoyable (and isn’t that really what’s important?).

In fact, I can see how an elaborate wedding could be quite the opposite, especially if the bride and groom can’t really afford the event and have put their friends and family to work, running errands and making seating cards.

So I’m taking comfort in that fact along with the knowledge that at least Shawn and I are throwing an event that won’t put us in debt, exhaust us or destroy friendships.

Our common sense wedding might not be the prettiest but I think in the end it’ll work for us.

A Couple Upcoming Shows

Hello, I’m back from Mexico!

But I’m also super-busy and because of that, this entry is going to be super-short and is going to highlight two upcoming events:

The Cake Show
Sunday, April 25
Noon – 5:30 pm
Artscape Wychwood Barns
601 Christie Street
$10

Organized by the Bonnie Gordon School, the Cake Show is a great place to get inspiration on what your cake should look and taste like!


The Spring Wedding Show
Saturday, May 1
10 am – 4 pm
Drake Hotel, 1050 Queen Street West
$10

Organized by the Wedding Co., this event showcases 40 local artisans and wedding vendors who promise to offer “unconventional, chic or edgy” touches for your wedding. Also featured are over 20 engagement portraits taken by Toronto photographers who are competing in The Great Engagement Shoot Challenge.


We're passing on the Cake Show since we already have that sorted but maybe I'll pop by the Spring Wedding Show on May 1, it sounds like it should have some good stuff.

20 Beautiful Centrepieces

Toronto’s own Wedding Bells magazine has put together this great slideshow that shows off a wide variety of centrepiece options. Most of these could easily be DIY projects and many of them aren’t the usual flowers-in-a-vase thing.

Here are my three favourite centrepieces from the slideshow (sorry I’m not linking directly to each item, something is either up with Blogger or Wedding Bells and I'm not able to add in the proper links):

10 Planning Questions You Didn’t Know To Ask

What do you do with your veil after the ceremony? What about your engagement ring during the ceremony? Do you really need someone to hold your dress when you pee? The answers to these and seven other very reasonable questions are all presented over here on TheKnot.com (you’ll likely have to log in to see the full article).

Ideas From Martha

Martha Stewart: love her or hate her, you need to admit that she does come up with some great ideas. A few weeks ago my sister sent me a link to this article over on Martha’s wedding site where she (her staff?) highlights “15 years of good things for weddings”.

Some of the stuff listed is super-simple and super-sweet. Below are three of my favourite ideas.

Typewriter Guestbook

Terra-cotta Pot Place Card





Wedding Bouquet with Fortune-toting ribbons

Photographer Hiring Tips

This article on hiring a wedding photographer comes courtesy of My DeeJay, a Baltimore/Washington, DC area, DJ company. It’s a long one but it’s packed with useful info and questions you’ll want to consider (and maybe ask).

Sadly (but not surprisingly), all the photographers featured in the article are from the Baltimore/Washington, DC area, so you can’t call any of them up for your wedding. But you can certainly use the great advice they pass on.

Off To Mexico

So I’m off to Mexico for a week for a friend’s destination wedding. We get back next Saturday and I’ll be sure to post about the experience.

In the meantime, I’ll have posts going up on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday that contain links to some must-read articles.

Where We’re At

We’re now about four months away from our wedding day and I’m proud to say that most of the big stuff is done. Most of it. Here’s what’s left, along with some of the little stuff…

April

• Get my ring made (this is all lined up, I just need to drop off my engagement ring)
• Figure out guy outfits
• Figure out maid of honour dress
• Get hair trial (already booked)
• Gather all addresses (in progress)
• Create Alberta reception invite (in progress)
• Address & send out invites
• Do tasting

May

• Continue addressing & sending out invites
• Get earrings
• Book our hotel room
• Starting working on song list

June

• Makeup trial (booked)
• Start looking on photo list

July

• Finish off music list
• Finish off photo list
• Create liquor list
• Create seating plan
• Create escort cards
• Submit cupcake favour list to bakery & check in
• Also check in with: photographer, DJ, florist
• Final meeting with venue

August

• Let’s not worry about this month now

I’m sure there’s other stuff that hopefully I’ll remember sooner rather than later.

Shawn’s Ring

I don’t really like shopping online. It’s OK for things like tickets or books or music; stuff that you don’t need to see and touch first before you buy it, but I never buy clothes or anything like that online.

So it’s a bit surprising that we bought Shawn’s ring online. I know, I know, buying jewellery online seems quite risky and I doubt we would have done it if Shawn’s ring contained diamonds or any other stones. But since Shawn wanted a fairly simple tungsten ring, it seemed like it would be a safe thing to do.

We started by going to a few brick-and-mortar jewellery stores first so that Shawn could try on a few different rings and narrow down what he wanted. We did see some very nice designs out there and, with the help of Google, Shawn found many of these designs over on TitaniumKay.com, a site that also offers amazing prices, with rings starting as low as $55 US.

After Shawn finally picked out his design, we just did a general Google search on TitaniumKay.com to see what kind of negative feedback was out there about it. We didn’t come across anything concerning so Shawn placed his order and saved us probably $200 on the cost of his ring.

The website promised the ring would be in here in about a week and in actuality it only took four days (were you expecting some kind of lost ring horror story to start here?). It looked exactly like it did online and Shawn is quite pleased with it.

The only issue is that I think it’s about a half-size too big though Shawn’s still uncertain about that. Thankfully, he can send it back and get a re-sized version for free (Shawn had asked about this prior to placing his order). We had gotten Shawn sized the day before he placed the order but we’ve since learned that generally you want to order tungsten rings half-a-size to a full size smaller (thanks Peoples for not telling us that).

So overall getting Shawn’s ring was quick, easy and we came in well under-budget. I’d still be hesitant to get a diamond ring online but a stone-less one? Yeah, I’d do it again as long as I was buying from a reputable website that uses insured shipping (and any reputable should be offering just that).

Blocking Off Hotel Rooms

One of the many wedding-related things we’ve accomplished over the past couples weeks is blocking over a dozen hotel rooms at a Hilton Garden Inn located near the Berkeley.

Blocking off hotels rooms is one of those wedding tasks that many of you may not have to worry about. Obviously, if all of your guests live near by there’s no need to block off rooms. And even if you do have out-of-town guests, you may not want to bother blocking off rooms since Toronto has so many hotels available at a wide range of price points.

We decided to block off a dozen rooms because we will likely have a few out-of-town guests who are not at all familiar with Toronto. That, combined with our wedding date (August 7, a busy time for Toronto hotels, especially reasonably priced ones) and the fact that our venue is located in a bit of a sketchy area, lead us to decide that blocking off rooms made sense for us.

We went with a Hilton Garden Inn because it is the Berkeley’s hotel of choice and they have an arrangement with it to offer blocking off rooms at a reasonable price and on reasonable terms. If you want to block off rooms, start by asking your venue if they have any pre-existing relationships with local hotels.

If not, hit up Expedia and Trip Advisor and create a short list of hotels that are located near your venue that would meet the needs and price-point of your guests. If, like me, you’re going to have a few guests who have never been to Toronto and are a bit uncertain about cites, make sure you’re selecting a hotel that looks “safe” (so secure, underground parking, well-staffed lobby, etc.). Many people prefer chain hotels because they offer that sense of safety as well as a sense of familiarity so that’s something you might want to consider.

Any hotel you pick should have some sort of blocking-off-rooms contract. Of course you should read any contract thoroughly but it’s especially important to do that with this one so that you don’t end up on the hook for hundreds or even thousands of dollars in unused rooms.

Some hotels will charge you the cost of unbooked rooms if you don’t “release” them by a certain date. This is a bad step up. Instead, the rooms should automatically be released by the hotel though it’s still a good idea to call the hotel on the release date and make it clear that yep, the hotel can start offering those rooms again.

The contract should also specify the price of the room and the type of room that’s being offered to your guest. This can help avoid disappointments and other negative feelings that might pop up when Aunt Betty realizes she’s paying the same price for her twin-bed that cousin Flora’s paying for her Jacuzzi sweet.