Less Than Two Weeks To Go!

So things have been pretty busy over here, it seems like there’s always something else that needs to be done and that’s after all the big stuff’s been taken care of for months!

It doesn’t help that this past weekend was booked up with non-wedding activities. I was able to squeeze in a few wedding tasks but I didn’t get to take care of everything I wanted.

Most stuff though should be taken care of this week, with basically everything wrapped up by next Monday (including the steaming of my dress). I need to write up a thorough breakdown of what task we’ve recently wrapped up and what’s still left to do but I won’t get to that this morning. Maybe tonight though…

But while things are busy over here, they are nowhere near as busy as this wedding, supposedly happening this weekend.

Quick Wedding Update

So we’re less than three weeks until the wedding day and things are getting pretty busy even though all the big stuff is booked (I have no idea how those couples of Wedding S.O.S. pull it off; even if they do have three wishes).

I’m hoping to get some time on Saturday to write up a few entries, including one on how our final meeting with the Berkeley went (it’s tonight).

We got a lot done over the weekend but despite that fact, I actually was a bit frustrated with the whole wedding process. Our RSVP deadline was Friday and with that came news that some of my friends who I was really hoping would be there won’t be. They all have valid reasons for not being able to make it but still…

On Monday though I was able to talk to one friend and found out that she actually might be able to make, it just depends on work (she lives down in the States) so that’s good.

And in other good news, it looks like I’ll be able to get the flower that I really wanted. When I first met with our florist, Jenn from FlowerGirls, I told her the one flower I liked was Picasso lilies. She then broke it to me that those flowers are fairly pricey so I dropped the idea.

But yesterday I got an email from her, telling me that she’s come across some of these flowers at the same price that I was quoted for orchids so now we’re going to go with some of those instead.
Orchids are quite nice but I just love the look of these lilies and they fit with our colours perfectly.

Organizing Your RSVPs

So I am still alive; just busy with work and wedding stuff and other random events like concerts. Also, to add to the fun, I was without a home computer for almost three nights because we were having some window repair work done and this meant that everything near on windows, like my computer, had to be unplugged and moved away.

Not having a computer was very annoying, in part because this is the week the RSVPs have been flooding in. Our due date is today and the vast majority are now in. There are a few still outstanding on Shawn’s family side (though we’ve heard they’ll be getting in touch with us) and I’ve had to follow up on a few friends. I must say that Facebook makes following up on late RSVPs so much easier!

All this talk of RSVPs got me thinking that I should share how I’m staying organized. Basically I have two tools.

The first is an Excel spreadsheet. It has the following column headings:

Name – the names of everyone the invite went to

Number – this is the number I put on the back of the RSVP card to help me keep track in case people don’t clearly put their names on the card

Quantity – how many people are in this party; I change this number depending on the RSVP reply

Method – did we mail the invite? Hand deliver it? Did someone else hand deliver it?

Address – this might contain the actual address or just a note telling me that it’s in my address book

Status – things started as “Sent” and then got updated depending on the reply

Food – what meal option was picked

Gift – if they gave a gift, what it is

Because we’re also having a reception out in Alberta, I actually have three tabs in my spreadsheet: Toronto-Only; Alberta-Only; Both; with that tab having a slightly different column set up so that I can track who’s coming to what.

I was going to include another column called “Table Name” and then sort by that however, yesterday I received a spreadsheet from the Berkeley that I’m supposed to use to enter in all my guests by table number (or name in my case) and their meal choices. So instead of entering seating info twice, I’ll just use the Berkeley spreadsheet. I also have a Word doc where I’m sorting out who sits where since it’s easier to do that inside Word than Excel.

My other tool is this little blue file folder. It’s maybe three-by-five inches in size and is split up into a dozen pockets. I’ve labelled those pockets by food selections as well as added in a “No” pocket and “Yes” and “No” pockets for our Alberta reception.

When a RSVP card first comes in, I enter the info into the spreadsheet and then file it away in here. Then, before I send that seating/meal selection spreadsheet over to the Berkeley, I’ll double-check the info on it with the actual RSVP cards. I’m hoping this will result in no one getting the wrong mean!

Getting Your Special Occasions Permit

Are you like us and supplying the alcohol for your wedding? If so, you probably need a special occasions permit.

While most LCBOs have a copy of the form you’ll need to fill out, you can print a copy of it off from over here.

That page also lists off which stores issue permits, since many of them do not.

Permits must be dropped off at one of those stores and then it takes about five business days for the permit to be approved. You then have to go back and pick up the physical permit (you can phone and make sure that yes, it’s there and ready).

Permits need to be applied for at least 10 days for indoor events and 30 days for outdoor events.

Outdoor events also need to meet these requirements: For outdoor events, the permit holder must at least 21 days prior to the event, write to the local municipality, police, and fire and health departments informing them of the event. The building department must be notified as well if a tent or marquee is used. The licensed area must be clearly defined and separated from the unlicensed area by a 36” (0.9 metres) high separation.

Since we’re having an open bar, or a “no sale” bar in the world of the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario, our permit only cost $25 and filling out the form was very quick and easy.

The permit for a cash bars, or “sale” bar, is $75 and filling out the form is bit more work though not much more.

All alcohol being served under a special occasions permit needs to purchased under that permit’s number. Then the receipts for those purchases need to be at the reception, just in case an inspector stops by. The permit also needs to be there, up in a visible location so I guess everyone knows that they’re drinking government approved liquor.

We’re waiting until a few days before the wedding to buy most of our booze though the beer is being ordered from Mill Street Brewery and the wine from WineOnline. Both places will deliver though I think Shawn’s thinking it might be “safer” if we pick up the wine and then bring it over with the rest of the alcohol.

While we’ve figured out how much wine we need, we’re still working on how much of everything else we need. I know there are alcohol calculators out there but I’ve yet to find one that breaks hard liquor down by type and takes into consideration things like coolers. If anyone knows of a calculator that does all that, let me know!

One Month To Go

It’s now less than a month to our wedding day and while most things are done, there are still a few things that need to be taken care. Let’s take a look…

Done since our last to-do list update:

• Nail appointment booked
• Hotel room booked
• Hair highlighting appointment booked
• Ceremony music finalized
• Liquor permit form dropped off
• Marriage license done
• Favours purchased
• Favours packaging purchased
• Earrings purchased
• Wine sampled & purchased
• Cupcake flavours submitted to baker

Here’s what will get done next week:

• Order wine (need liquor license first)
• Order beer (need liquor license first)
• Book eyebrow waxing appointment (I forgot about this!)
• Finalize DJ playlist
• Finalize photo list

And in the two weeks after that:

• Finalize day-of schedule
• Create “décor plan” for décor helpers
• Meet with décor helpers and walk through plan
• Package favours
• Finalize seating chart
• Make escort cards
• Meet one last time with venue
• Check in with all of the vendors

Week of wedding

• Steam my dress (I’m just borrowing a friend’s steamer)
• Buy liquor
• Organize all the centrepiece stuff and other décor items
• Dozens of other little tasks

OK, that’s not too bad. I think we can pull it all off.

We Have Our Marriage License

We now have a marriage license. We got it on Friday, down at City Hall, and overall it was a pretty quick process though we did run into some bumps.

We arrived at City Hall at about 10:30 am, went over to the marriage license area, filled out the form (because we screwed up filling out the form we’d printed off) and then wandered over to a desk.

The woman there asked us for ID that contained our names as they would appear on the licence. I gave my driver’s license and that was fine. But then we discovered that Shawn didn’t have any ID on him that contained his full middle name; for some reason his driver’s license just had his initial.

So then we had two choices. We could head home, find Shawn’s birth certificate and then come back with that or we could apply for the license with Shawn’s middle name just being an initial. The woman warned us that the second option could potentially lead to issues down the road though she wasn’t quite sure what they would be. Another woman who seemed to be working at the same desk then piped up that our situation wasn’t that uncommon and that many people just went with an initial or no middle name at all.

So we decided to risk it and just go with the initial. Once that was decided upon, we were given a number and then had to wait about 15 minutes before moving on to the second and final desk.

I have to say that the marriage license department was, at least to me, surprisingly unbusy. There were a few other couples there but most of them were out-of-towners getting licenses so that they could marry during Pride weekend. I thought we would have to be there as early as possible to avoid a lengthy wait but thankfully that wasn’t the case.

Anyway, our number got called, we went to a desk, the woman there checked out IDs again, got us to double-check the form, then entered all the info into the computer, printed out the form and got us to double-check and sign that.

Then we got to pay, conveniently at the same desk we were already at. Normally you can pay using a credit or debit card but the system was down because of the HST or something that didn’t really make any sense so we got to pay $130 in cash. So that was annoying.

But we got our license as well as the form you need to fill out and submit to get your physical marriage certificate (I thought you’d be automatically sent that but apparently not). The license was placed in a City-addressed envelope that we were to give to our officiant prior to the wedding day.

Since our minister’s church is located downtown, we then headed over there and dropped off the envelope. And that was that.

So here are a few tips for you about getting your marriage license:

• Make sure you bring government-issued ID that contains your full name
• If this ID doesn’t contain a photo, also bring a piece of government-issued photo ID
• If you can, fill out your form in advance
• Bring a pen
• Bring something to occupy yourself just in case you do have a long wait
• Try to go in the morning, it’s generally less busy then
• And yes, you both need to be there

Here's One Way To Raise Money For Your Wedding

Well, here’s one way to pay for your wedding: Collect a ton of aluminium cans. A couple in Spokane are paying for their July 31 wedding with the proceeds from the 400,000 cans that they’ve turned in for recycling.

So just how much did they make? $3,800. OK, so that’s not a ton of money and collecting the cans turned into a bit of a community effort but still, it’s a cute story.

The couple also have a website if you want to find out a bit more about them and how they are keeping their wedding costs down.

If you wanted to do this in Ontario I guess you’d want to collect alcohol bottles. I must admit that there have been a few times where, upon seeing the large pile of bottles sitting in my building’s recycling room, I have thought about bagging them up and taking them over to the Beer Store for the deposits.

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Music

A while ago I started writing a few posts on how to have a fun wedding. I’d like to pick that up with this that is all about the music.

For me, music is one of those things that can make or break a wedding. While I’m pretty open to whatever for the ceremony, the cocktail hour and the dinner, when it’s time to dance, I want to dance but only if the music is right. Otherwise you won't see me out there.

I think a lot of people are the same so in order to get people dancing and having a good time, you have to make sure you have just the right mix.

And that mix starts with either a DJ or an iPod (or iPod-like set-up). Live musicians are wonderful but I do think you should only have them for the ceremony and/or first part of the reception. For the actual dancing portion you need more flexibility and versatility than a live band can give you. Unless the vast majority of your guests are all really into, say jazz, people will get bored listening to the same type of music all night long.

Because of that, you need to offer plenty of variety, especially at the start, so that people get up and move (though do keep in mind that not everyone dances so don't feel bad if some people never make it to the dance floor). Make sure your DJ takes requests and even ask your guests for song ideas in advance (this is especially key if you’re going the iPod route since you’re likely not to have the space and selection that a professional DJ would have).

At least for the first hour or so, include a few songs for the “older” people. This can be anything from classic slow songs (think Nat King Cole) to upbeat Beatles tracks. It’s generally a safe rule to say that as the night progressives, things can get faster and noisier but at the start, do a cater a bit to the older crowd and get them moving.

While it’s true that you need to ultimately trust your DJ to make the right song selections, you know your guests better than s/he does and because of that I strongly encourage you to detail out what kind of stuff should be played, as well as specific must-plays. Ideally at least a few of these must-plays have a strong connection to some of your guests (maybe a song you used to listen to a lot in high school or university) and will get them dancing.

At the same time, this is your wedding and I’m totally support the idea of a “Do Not Play” list. Do let your DJ know of any forbidden songs that you absolutely do not want played. After all, it’s important that you have fun too!

Here's a great blog post former another Toronto blogger that's packed with some great wedding song choices.