How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Alcohol

Since it’s nearly time to wrap up this blog, it’s time to make the last entry is my “How To Have a Fun Wedding” series. Today we look at alcohol.

First off, I know there’s an ongoing debate about open bar vs. non-open bar. I say that if you can, you should have an open bar because let’s be honest, more booze generally does equal more fun (well, to a point).

But I realize that an open bar isn’t a possibility for everyone. For those people, I recommend trying to come up with a creative a solution that still allows you guests to drink for cheap without sticking you with the whole bill. A few ideas:

• Hold an open bar for a set period of time
• Have a loonie or twoonie bar
•  Pick two signature drinks and have those be free all night long
• Provide guests with two drinks tickets

At absolute minimum, provide wine for free with dinner.

People will drink more (and ideally have more fun) if they can find something they love to drink so do your best to have a reasonable variety of booze on hand. At minimum serve: Red wine, white wine, beer, vodka, gin, rum and rye and go with at least the medium price-point stuff.

Ideally, have a few different types of beer available as well as some coolers and dark and light rum. Other alcohol that’s nice to have on hand is Kahlua, Bailey’s, Raspberry Sourpuss, Blue Curacao and if your crowd’s into shots, Jagermeister and tequila. Of course, if you’ve got the budget (and the appropriate guests) you can always add in some Triple Sec, Peach Schnapps, flavoured vodkas, etc.

When you’re making your alcohol list, make sure to also keep your mix list in mind. For example, if you’re going to have Kahlua available, make sure there’s milk (and I don’t mean coffee cream, I mean actual milk). And please, don’t have cranberry juice be your only vodka-friendly mix. A person can only drink so many Cape Cods.

A wide range of mixes will also be appreciated by those at your wedding who aren’t drinking alcohol.

Signature drinks are great way to personalize and have some fun with your bar menu. Don’t feel like you have to come up with something totally new. We just took Sprite, Raspberry Sourpuss and Blue Curacao, which combine to make a drink commonly known as a “porn star” and renamed it “The Purple People Eater”. The colour worked with our wedding colours and I think a lot of people enjoyed it.

If you want, have one signature drink for the bride and another for the groom. They don’t even have to be proper “drinks”. A signature shot would certainly help to get the party going!

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Bride

As promised, a post on how you, the bride, can have a fun wedding…

1. Give People Jobs: It’s an obvious one but it’s also a hard one because it means giving up control. It’s also one of the best decisions you can make. Assign people tasks and let them worry about those jobs, not you. As long as you’ve pick responsible people and given clear, written-out instructions, it’ll be fine.
   
2. Breath: People always say that their wedding day flew by and they don’t remember much. This always makes me a bit sad because this a big day, don’t you want to remember as much of it as possible? My trick to slowing things down and taking them in was to mentally and physically pause, take a few deep breaths and just observe what was going on around me. At other times I mentally told myself to pay attention and remember this moment.
   
3. Eat: I’m not just taking just about dinner but the whole day. You’re not going to lose that last little bit of weight on your actual day so eat a proper breakfast as well as something for lunch. And yes, do eat your dinner, even if that means having to sit down and “ignore” your guests for a bit.
   
4. Drink Smart: I avoided any alcohol before the ceremony because I wanted to minimize bathroom trips but I do think that depending on your metabolism/history with alcohol, you can get away with a drink or two. But since alcohol tends to make people more emotional, don’t over do it, wait until later in the evening to really start partying.
   
5. Set a “Partying” Start Time: Speaking of which, have an approximate time when you stop being the polite bride who nicely socializes with everyone and becomes the “fun” bride who grabs a drink and heads out onto the dance floor.
   
   The truth is, if you want to have fun at your wedding you’re likely going to have to proactively create time for yourself to let loose. This advice might come across as a bit selfish here but trust me, you’re going to want to do this.

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Music

A while ago I started writing a few posts on how to have a fun wedding. I’d like to pick that up with this that is all about the music.

For me, music is one of those things that can make or break a wedding. While I’m pretty open to whatever for the ceremony, the cocktail hour and the dinner, when it’s time to dance, I want to dance but only if the music is right. Otherwise you won't see me out there.

I think a lot of people are the same so in order to get people dancing and having a good time, you have to make sure you have just the right mix.

And that mix starts with either a DJ or an iPod (or iPod-like set-up). Live musicians are wonderful but I do think you should only have them for the ceremony and/or first part of the reception. For the actual dancing portion you need more flexibility and versatility than a live band can give you. Unless the vast majority of your guests are all really into, say jazz, people will get bored listening to the same type of music all night long.

Because of that, you need to offer plenty of variety, especially at the start, so that people get up and move (though do keep in mind that not everyone dances so don't feel bad if some people never make it to the dance floor). Make sure your DJ takes requests and even ask your guests for song ideas in advance (this is especially key if you’re going the iPod route since you’re likely not to have the space and selection that a professional DJ would have).

At least for the first hour or so, include a few songs for the “older” people. This can be anything from classic slow songs (think Nat King Cole) to upbeat Beatles tracks. It’s generally a safe rule to say that as the night progressives, things can get faster and noisier but at the start, do a cater a bit to the older crowd and get them moving.

While it’s true that you need to ultimately trust your DJ to make the right song selections, you know your guests better than s/he does and because of that I strongly encourage you to detail out what kind of stuff should be played, as well as specific must-plays. Ideally at least a few of these must-plays have a strong connection to some of your guests (maybe a song you used to listen to a lot in high school or university) and will get them dancing.

At the same time, this is your wedding and I’m totally support the idea of a “Do Not Play” list. Do let your DJ know of any forbidden songs that you absolutely do not want played. After all, it’s important that you have fun too!

Here's a great blog post former another Toronto blogger that's packed with some great wedding song choices.

Have A Fun Wedding: The Guests

Part two in an on-going series about making your wedding fun.

This is an easy concept: To have a fun wedding, you need fun guests.

Now, that’s not to say that every guest needs to like a character out of Party Monster. You’re talking about your wedding after all and so you’re likely inviting more than a few people who you wouldn’t be inviting out on a Saturday night to the club.

But, unless you’re having a super-small wedding or your parents have hijacked the guest list, you should have space to invite at least of few life-of-the-party type people.

These are the individuals who will get people talking, laughing and dancing and they’ll help to make your wedding a memorable, enjoyable event. I know that putting together a guest list can be one of the hardest parts of wedding planning but if you’re short on space and/or money and you have to choose between that high school friend who you haven’t seen in years and a newer but really fun friend, go with the fun friend.

Then have your fun friends “work” for you by strategically placing them at tables where they can get spread their fun-loving nature. If all your fun friends are friends, do split them up but put their tables beside each other so that they can still socialize with each other as well as with your other guests.

If you have any fun friends who are big into dancing, chat with them in advance and let them know that you’re counting on them to get the dance party underway (no pressure!).

Your guests are a tremendously important part of your wedding and who you invite can really impact the atmosphere so if you want a fun wedding, make sure you’ve got at least a few guests who you can count on to bring the party.

Have A Fun Wedding: The Atmosphere

Want to have a fun wedding? Then make sure your guests have fun. The first in a multi-part series...

* Creating a Fun Atmosphere *

Creating that perfect atmosphere is probably the hardest thing to do at a wedding. No amount of money can guarantee it (in fact, too much money can actually prevent a fun atmosphere) nor any person or service. A fun atmosphere requires that perfect mix of elements, timing and just plain good luck.

So while I can’t offer any promises on how to guarantee a good

time for all, I do have some ideas...

1. Take Your Guests' Point Of View: Think of the words you’re using to describe your wedding: romantic, elegant, gorgeous. None of these words are synonyms for fun and for a lot of people they mean boring. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to trade fantasy for frat. But do understand that you are going to have to do a bit of work to make your wedding fun.

Take stock of who you’re inviting ask yourself what they would find fun. Live entertainment? Tons of food? Bass-heavy music? Then work these “fun” elements in at natural points. For example, bring the live performers out during dinner. Or, after 10 pm, turn the music over to your favourite DJ from Wrongbar.

Also, be aware that many people aren’t comfortable with “fanciness”, even if fanciness just means wearing a suit. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to ditch your dreams of a black tie wedding. Just be aware of how your guests might feel and then try to work in some kind of counterbalance.

2. Hire The Right Vendors: Of course you want vendors who are pros and professional but make sure those who will be dealing with your guests are also friendly, relaxed and understand that doing their job shouldn’t take away from the guests’ experience. For example, make sure your photographer won’t be barking orders at family or jumping in front of grandma’s camera. And check to see that you bar staff knows how to make your guests favourite drinks.

3. Think Of The Small Details: Can’t afford the Beatles impersonators and that sushi bar you know your friends would all love? That’s fine; just "fun" things up using small details: Have your place settings include a colour coordinated shot, where a brightly coloured crinoline under your desk and have the pianist/string quartet/whoever play your favourite songs while everyone waits for the ceremony to bring. Stuff like this relaxes people and a relaxed crowd leads to a fun time.

4. Set A Good Example: Most importantly, make sure you, your other half and everyone in your bridal party show that you’re all having a great time. Smile, giggle, laugh and make sure to stop and talk to your guests. Ideally your “funness” is contagious and will spread amongst your guests.