How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Alcohol

Since it’s nearly time to wrap up this blog, it’s time to make the last entry is my “How To Have a Fun Wedding” series. Today we look at alcohol.

First off, I know there’s an ongoing debate about open bar vs. non-open bar. I say that if you can, you should have an open bar because let’s be honest, more booze generally does equal more fun (well, to a point).

But I realize that an open bar isn’t a possibility for everyone. For those people, I recommend trying to come up with a creative a solution that still allows you guests to drink for cheap without sticking you with the whole bill. A few ideas:

• Hold an open bar for a set period of time
• Have a loonie or twoonie bar
•  Pick two signature drinks and have those be free all night long
• Provide guests with two drinks tickets

At absolute minimum, provide wine for free with dinner.

People will drink more (and ideally have more fun) if they can find something they love to drink so do your best to have a reasonable variety of booze on hand. At minimum serve: Red wine, white wine, beer, vodka, gin, rum and rye and go with at least the medium price-point stuff.

Ideally, have a few different types of beer available as well as some coolers and dark and light rum. Other alcohol that’s nice to have on hand is Kahlua, Bailey’s, Raspberry Sourpuss, Blue Curacao and if your crowd’s into shots, Jagermeister and tequila. Of course, if you’ve got the budget (and the appropriate guests) you can always add in some Triple Sec, Peach Schnapps, flavoured vodkas, etc.

When you’re making your alcohol list, make sure to also keep your mix list in mind. For example, if you’re going to have Kahlua available, make sure there’s milk (and I don’t mean coffee cream, I mean actual milk). And please, don’t have cranberry juice be your only vodka-friendly mix. A person can only drink so many Cape Cods.

A wide range of mixes will also be appreciated by those at your wedding who aren’t drinking alcohol.

Signature drinks are great way to personalize and have some fun with your bar menu. Don’t feel like you have to come up with something totally new. We just took Sprite, Raspberry Sourpuss and Blue Curacao, which combine to make a drink commonly known as a “porn star” and renamed it “The Purple People Eater”. The colour worked with our wedding colours and I think a lot of people enjoyed it.

If you want, have one signature drink for the bride and another for the groom. They don’t even have to be proper “drinks”. A signature shot would certainly help to get the party going!

What We Bought For Alcohol

One of the trickiest things we had to do in regards with our wedding was figure out how much alcohol we needed to buy. While there are plenty of alcohol calculators out there, we still were left wondering if the numbers they gave us made sense for our group (around 100 people, mostly adults, with 30-25% being heavy drinkers).

Thankfully we had a pair of friends get married in June who also had to buy their booze. While their numbers and crowd make-up was a bit different than ours, we used their quantities to figure out what we needed.

Still, we didn’t quite get it right. Here’s how things broke down for us:

Wine

Bought

• Three cases of red (all Shyrah)
• Three cases of white (two Chardonnay, one pinot grigio)

Returned

• One case of red
• One case of white (the pinot was never opened)

Leftover (includes opened, combined bottles):

• At least a dozen bottles of red (this included opened, combined bottles)
• Fewer than 10 bottles of white

Beer

Bought

• 14 cases

Returned

• 7 cases

Hard Alcohol

Bought

• 5 bottles of vodka (40 oz)
• 5 bottles of rye (fifth)
• 3 bottles of gin (fifth)
• 2 bottles of dark rum (40 oz)
• 1 bottle of light rum (40 oz)
• 2 bottles of Raspberry Sourpuss (40 oz)
• 1 bottle of Raspberry Sourpuss (fifth)
• 2 bottles of tequila (40 oz)
• 2 bottles of blue cucacao (fifth)
• 2 bottles of Jagermeister (40 oz)
• 1 bottle of scotch (40 oz)
• 1 bottles of Kahlua (40 oz)

Also, one 24-mix pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, all of which was consumed

Returned

• 1 bottle of vodka
• The fifth of Sourpuss

Leftover

• Most of the scotch
• Half-bottle of tequila
• Half-bottle of light rum
• A third of gin
• Just a few ounces each of vodka, rye, blue cucacao and Sourpuss
• Oh, and the entire bottle of Kahlua that we couldn’t return because the seal had been broken

The leftover wine number didn’t shock me but the beer number did. I think the reason for that was that all of our beer came from Mill Street and I guess our crowd wasn’t big on Mill Street (though Shawn and a few of his friends do regularly drink it).

We were though pretty dead-on when it came to the hard alcohol. Except for the Kahlua; I wonder why no one drank any of that…

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Bride

As promised, a post on how you, the bride, can have a fun wedding…

1. Give People Jobs: It’s an obvious one but it’s also a hard one because it means giving up control. It’s also one of the best decisions you can make. Assign people tasks and let them worry about those jobs, not you. As long as you’ve pick responsible people and given clear, written-out instructions, it’ll be fine.
   
2. Breath: People always say that their wedding day flew by and they don’t remember much. This always makes me a bit sad because this a big day, don’t you want to remember as much of it as possible? My trick to slowing things down and taking them in was to mentally and physically pause, take a few deep breaths and just observe what was going on around me. At other times I mentally told myself to pay attention and remember this moment.
   
3. Eat: I’m not just taking just about dinner but the whole day. You’re not going to lose that last little bit of weight on your actual day so eat a proper breakfast as well as something for lunch. And yes, do eat your dinner, even if that means having to sit down and “ignore” your guests for a bit.
   
4. Drink Smart: I avoided any alcohol before the ceremony because I wanted to minimize bathroom trips but I do think that depending on your metabolism/history with alcohol, you can get away with a drink or two. But since alcohol tends to make people more emotional, don’t over do it, wait until later in the evening to really start partying.
   
5. Set a “Partying” Start Time: Speaking of which, have an approximate time when you stop being the polite bride who nicely socializes with everyone and becomes the “fun” bride who grabs a drink and heads out onto the dance floor.
   
   The truth is, if you want to have fun at your wedding you’re likely going to have to proactively create time for yourself to let loose. This advice might come across as a bit selfish here but trust me, you’re going to want to do this.

Yes, I Did Have Fun At My Wedding

I have to say that not only did I have a lot of fun at my own wedding but that it was the most fun I’d ever had at a wedding. Shawn also feels the same way. Here’s why I think we had such a good time…

The Guests: While I do wish that a few more of my friends could have been there, I don’t feel like we missed inviting anyone or that we invited anyone we shouldn’t have. Most importantly though I got to spent a good chunk of time with friends/younger family members and have fun with them, as did Shawn.

The Atmosphere: It was relaxed but not casual and personally I really liked that. Our candle-heavy décor and the venue itself also helped to create an almost nightclub-like atmosphere that naturally lended itself to plenty of dancing and drinking.

The Alcohol: Open bars are great; open bars that offer a wide range of alcohol are even better and that’s what I liked about ours, the variety it offered. We also only ran out of one thing, dark rum so that was good too.

The Music: For me this was the biggie because I love music, I love to dance and sadly, most of the wedding’s I’ve been to have bad music and no one dancing. This was not the case at mine, largely in part because the DJ stuck to the playlist that Shawn and I had carefully created. He mixed everything together in a way that kept the momentum going and also threw in his own well-timed selections. The end results was that a lot of people were dancing

Most of these are topics that I’ve already mentioned in my “how to have a fun wedding” mini-guide (I still need to write one up about alcohol and I promise to do that before this project is wrapped up). While these are all areas that you’re going to consider as part of your wedding planning, I do think that if you come at them from the perspective of having a great time, you’ll end up with more fun results that you and your guests will enjoy.

And yes, I think a good chunk of my guests did have a good time. Many people said they had a lot of fun and I have no doubt that those two dozen or so people who spent lots of time on the dance floor had a great time.

The only complaints I heard was that the music was too loud near the end and that some of the faster songs weren’t to everyone’s taste. But I expected that and I much rather caterer to the people who were out there dancing and having fun (including Shawn and myself) than those who’d just sit around regardless of the music situation.

Also, not everyone was a fan of our beer choice but I’ll discuss that in a future entry because that was certainly a learning point.

My next entry though will be focused on what you the bride can do to have a good time because the truth is, you can have best guests/alcohol/atmosphere/music in the world and still have a crappy time at your wedding if you don’t relax and stop worrying. I know letting go of control is hard but trust me, it can be done and on your actual wedding day, it’s for the best.

Write Down The Details

I’m sure you’ve already been told dozens of times by now to get all the key details – start times, end times, deposit deals, etc. – in writing. And while I certainly add my voice to that chorus, I want to also take a moment to encourage you to also get all the little details in writing too.

Now, people say “don’t sweat the small stuff” but on your wedding day, someone will be sweating the small stuff. If you’re a super-carefree, go-with-the-flow kind of person, you might not be the sweater, but someone, your mom, your maid of honour, your venue contact, will at some point be staring at something and wondering if it’s looking the way it should. And that’s where having the small details documented comes in.


How these details are organized is up to you, the point is that you and those associated with you have a printed reference to everything from your timeline to your flowers to your cake. This way everyone’s on the same page, people are better organized (and therefor ideally calmer) and issues can be spotted and dealt with earlier.

Another reason for documenting the little details is that having all that stuff written down makes it a lot easier to get a refund, should things not work out. This seems to be a situation that pops up the most with florists and decorating, maybe because there’s so much “imagining” and “visioning” going on. Also, many decorators and florists sell packages that then get modified and well, if those modifications aren’t written down, you can see how things can easily go to a disappointing place.

The point is, it’s much easier to get money back if you can say, “Hey, there’s the email where you promise that for this price, I’ll get package A but with roses instead of lilies and no underlighting on the head table,” than to say, “Hey, I know the contact says that I’m paying for package A but don’t you remember how we talking about changing some stuff?”

A few details that you’ll want to get written down:

• All flower types and colours being used as well as approximate quantities; ribbons, bouquet jewellery and other related items should be detailed out


• Such vase/container/centrepiece details as size, shape, colour, quantities


• Such cake stand details as size, shape, material, any extras/enhancements


• Drapping details would include colours, fabric types, sizes and placement. This is an area where ideally you have a photo of what the drapping should look like, as well as a photo of what fabric(s) is being used


• Chair cover details would include colour, fabric type and any extras/enhancements. This is another area where a photo is ideal


• Your caterer should provide you with a detailed list of what exactly is being served and while you don’t need to know how many baby potatoes each person is getting, you will want numbers for your hors d’oeuvres and possibly even your midnight snack


• Bar details should touch on both alcoholic and non-alcoholic offerings and could even look at what types of glasses and garnishes will be available (though even I’ll admit that might be too detailed for some)

Spent Vs. Saved

So as promised in yesterday’s entries, here are five areas where we’re glad we spent the cash and five areas where we’re glad we saved.

Spent

The venue – As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, the Berkeley Church isn’t cheap but it was exactly what Shawn and I wanted and we received tons of compliments on the venue as well as the food. The staff was always friendly and while we had some communication snags with our initial planner, the planner who replaced her, Kathy, was quite helpful.

Open bar – No question, an open bar was the way to go. It certainly helped to get people up on the dancefloor, speaking of which…

DJ – So my original plan was to go with DJ iPod, an idea that Shawn shot down and I have no problems saying that I’m glad he did. We ended up getting a great DJ who closely followed our playlist while adding in his own touches at just the right moment.

At-home hair & make-up – I think being able to get ready in the comfort of my own home, and not have to worry about rushing to and from somewhere, really helped to make the wedding day more relaxing.

Hotel room – This is one of those areas that I initially thought was a waste of money but the truth is, being able to head to a hotel after the wedding was a nice treat, as was the swim we got to take the following morning. We stayed at the Thompson Hotel and its lovely rooftop pool totally made up for the alarm clock that went off at 6 in the morning and the scent-heavy detergent used on the bedding (and no, I’m not one of those anti-scent people).


Saved

The dress – Technically this is an area where my parents saved but whatever. My dress, which I quite liked (I’ll post a picture at some point) was quite reasonable for a wedding dress of its style. All in, including alternations, the veil, fancy dress bag and taxes, the dress cost under $1,500 which while not cheap, is a good deal considering its size and the amount of detailing it had.

The wine – Our wine was $11.95 a bottle and personally, I thought it tasted just fine, as did many other people. As any wine expert will tell you, the cost of a bottle of wine has nothing to do with its quality so don’t feel like you need to spend big bucks on your dinner wine.

Décor – We cheaped out big time here. All our décor, including our centrepieces and the few flowers we used for the head table/ceremony and the escort card table came to maybe $500. And some of that we’re getting back because I’m selling what I can on the bridal boards (actually, I should probably post that stuff on here too). While we certainly could have spent more here, I don’t think we really had to. The inside of the Berkeley is quite pretty with its stain glass and fireplaces. Plus it helps that the Berkeley includes coloured up-lighting and dozens of tea lights all over the place.

The flowers – The flowers we got were beautiful; Picasso lilies are now my new favourite; but we didn’t have a lot of them and in the end, I think that was fine. Our cake was actually supposed to be decorated with fresh flowers but for whatever reason the florist forgot to bring those so the cake went flowerless. At first I was a bit annoyed but then, as I thought about it, I was OK with what had happened because I realized that I no longer had to pay $35 for something that would be used for a few hours and then thrown out.

Transportation – We didn’t pay for any special transportation and while fitting my big dress in the back of our SUV was a bit awkward, it was certainly preferable to paying some obscene amount for some tacky vehicle.

10 Random Wedding Lessons

And we’re married. The wedding was this Saturday and overall it went quite smoothly and was a lot of fun.

But while the wedding might be over this blog still has a bit of life in it and I will definitely be making a few more entries to help you out with your wedding planning.

Let’s start with 10 random things I learned from this past Saturday…

1. Take time off before the wedding: Shawn and I were able to take the whole week off and that was very nice. If you can’t do that, try to take at least the Thursday and Friday off.

2. Take time off after the wedding: But I wouldn’t recommend taking your actual honeymoon right after the wedding. I’d be way too tired to properly enjoy my honeymoon if I was on it right now.

3. Write out a detailed timeline: Ok, maybe you’ll be the only one who really reads it but writing out a detailed timeline will likely help you feel more prepared and will help you discover any missing items.

4. Write out a packing list: A few days before the wedding, write out what you need in what bag and then refer to the list as you pack things up.

5. Remember, you can return liquor: As long as you have the receipt and your permit. So don’t lose those things and err on the side of too much rather than too little.

6. No one looks at the website: Ok, this isn’t completely true; I know some people did check out our wedding website. I also know that most people didn’t and so because of that fact, I’m glad I didn’t spend too much time on it.

7. The caterer always makes extra meals: Worried you screwed up the meal list? Or maybe someone decides they want ribs instead of salmon? Don’t worry, most caterer prepare extra plates.

8. Have a “quiet area” for the old people/non-dancers: For us, the quiet area was outside where the old people could also smoke.

9. Use your dress’ “dancing loop”: I found our first dance to be quite awkward because of my dress’ train. Then, maybe two-thirds in to the dance, I remembered that the dress had a special loop sewed onto the train that I was supposed to wear on my wrist so that it was easier to dance in it. Oops.

10. Get your baked goods from Sweet Escapes: Our cupcakes were a huge hit. We bought 120 and had about seven leftover. We only had 98 guests and I know not everyone had a cupcake so yeah, they were popular.

Getting Your Special Occasions Permit

Are you like us and supplying the alcohol for your wedding? If so, you probably need a special occasions permit.

While most LCBOs have a copy of the form you’ll need to fill out, you can print a copy of it off from over here.

That page also lists off which stores issue permits, since many of them do not.

Permits must be dropped off at one of those stores and then it takes about five business days for the permit to be approved. You then have to go back and pick up the physical permit (you can phone and make sure that yes, it’s there and ready).

Permits need to be applied for at least 10 days for indoor events and 30 days for outdoor events.

Outdoor events also need to meet these requirements: For outdoor events, the permit holder must at least 21 days prior to the event, write to the local municipality, police, and fire and health departments informing them of the event. The building department must be notified as well if a tent or marquee is used. The licensed area must be clearly defined and separated from the unlicensed area by a 36” (0.9 metres) high separation.

Since we’re having an open bar, or a “no sale” bar in the world of the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario, our permit only cost $25 and filling out the form was very quick and easy.

The permit for a cash bars, or “sale” bar, is $75 and filling out the form is bit more work though not much more.

All alcohol being served under a special occasions permit needs to purchased under that permit’s number. Then the receipts for those purchases need to be at the reception, just in case an inspector stops by. The permit also needs to be there, up in a visible location so I guess everyone knows that they’re drinking government approved liquor.

We’re waiting until a few days before the wedding to buy most of our booze though the beer is being ordered from Mill Street Brewery and the wine from WineOnline. Both places will deliver though I think Shawn’s thinking it might be “safer” if we pick up the wine and then bring it over with the rest of the alcohol.

While we’ve figured out how much wine we need, we’re still working on how much of everything else we need. I know there are alcohol calculators out there but I’ve yet to find one that breaks hard liquor down by type and takes into consideration things like coolers. If anyone knows of a calculator that does all that, let me know!