How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Alcohol

Since it’s nearly time to wrap up this blog, it’s time to make the last entry is my “How To Have a Fun Wedding” series. Today we look at alcohol.

First off, I know there’s an ongoing debate about open bar vs. non-open bar. I say that if you can, you should have an open bar because let’s be honest, more booze generally does equal more fun (well, to a point).

But I realize that an open bar isn’t a possibility for everyone. For those people, I recommend trying to come up with a creative a solution that still allows you guests to drink for cheap without sticking you with the whole bill. A few ideas:

• Hold an open bar for a set period of time
• Have a loonie or twoonie bar
•  Pick two signature drinks and have those be free all night long
• Provide guests with two drinks tickets

At absolute minimum, provide wine for free with dinner.

People will drink more (and ideally have more fun) if they can find something they love to drink so do your best to have a reasonable variety of booze on hand. At minimum serve: Red wine, white wine, beer, vodka, gin, rum and rye and go with at least the medium price-point stuff.

Ideally, have a few different types of beer available as well as some coolers and dark and light rum. Other alcohol that’s nice to have on hand is Kahlua, Bailey’s, Raspberry Sourpuss, Blue Curacao and if your crowd’s into shots, Jagermeister and tequila. Of course, if you’ve got the budget (and the appropriate guests) you can always add in some Triple Sec, Peach Schnapps, flavoured vodkas, etc.

When you’re making your alcohol list, make sure to also keep your mix list in mind. For example, if you’re going to have Kahlua available, make sure there’s milk (and I don’t mean coffee cream, I mean actual milk). And please, don’t have cranberry juice be your only vodka-friendly mix. A person can only drink so many Cape Cods.

A wide range of mixes will also be appreciated by those at your wedding who aren’t drinking alcohol.

Signature drinks are great way to personalize and have some fun with your bar menu. Don’t feel like you have to come up with something totally new. We just took Sprite, Raspberry Sourpuss and Blue Curacao, which combine to make a drink commonly known as a “porn star” and renamed it “The Purple People Eater”. The colour worked with our wedding colours and I think a lot of people enjoyed it.

If you want, have one signature drink for the bride and another for the groom. They don’t even have to be proper “drinks”. A signature shot would certainly help to get the party going!

Make Your Own Wedding Photo Book

I’m not a Mac user (other than my phone) but wow, I wish I had so that I could use Mac’s iPhoto book-building feature.

Photographers will charge you hundreds of dollars to make a personalized photo album but with iPhoto, the digital copies of your photos and a bit of creativity, you can create a 13x11-inch, hardcover, 20-page book for $50 ($1.149 for every extra page).

To see the whole thing in action, check out this video.

While I’ve never made one, a friend of mine has seen the results and was quite impressed. Of course, while Apple gives you the tools to create a truly professional product, it is up to you to supply the high-quality photos and typo-free copy.

Hmm... I wonder I can rent a Mac Book from somewhere?

Need An Idea for Your Bachelorette?

I haven’t written at all about my bachelorette yet have I? I’ll have to do that because it was a lot of fun. Anyways, in the meantime, check out this post over on Slice.ca about bachelorette ideas that don’t involve stripped (and no, mine didn’t).

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Bride

As promised, a post on how you, the bride, can have a fun wedding…

1. Give People Jobs: It’s an obvious one but it’s also a hard one because it means giving up control. It’s also one of the best decisions you can make. Assign people tasks and let them worry about those jobs, not you. As long as you’ve pick responsible people and given clear, written-out instructions, it’ll be fine.
   
2. Breath: People always say that their wedding day flew by and they don’t remember much. This always makes me a bit sad because this a big day, don’t you want to remember as much of it as possible? My trick to slowing things down and taking them in was to mentally and physically pause, take a few deep breaths and just observe what was going on around me. At other times I mentally told myself to pay attention and remember this moment.
   
3. Eat: I’m not just taking just about dinner but the whole day. You’re not going to lose that last little bit of weight on your actual day so eat a proper breakfast as well as something for lunch. And yes, do eat your dinner, even if that means having to sit down and “ignore” your guests for a bit.
   
4. Drink Smart: I avoided any alcohol before the ceremony because I wanted to minimize bathroom trips but I do think that depending on your metabolism/history with alcohol, you can get away with a drink or two. But since alcohol tends to make people more emotional, don’t over do it, wait until later in the evening to really start partying.
   
5. Set a “Partying” Start Time: Speaking of which, have an approximate time when you stop being the polite bride who nicely socializes with everyone and becomes the “fun” bride who grabs a drink and heads out onto the dance floor.
   
   The truth is, if you want to have fun at your wedding you’re likely going to have to proactively create time for yourself to let loose. This advice might come across as a bit selfish here but trust me, you’re going to want to do this.

Yes, I Did Have Fun At My Wedding

I have to say that not only did I have a lot of fun at my own wedding but that it was the most fun I’d ever had at a wedding. Shawn also feels the same way. Here’s why I think we had such a good time…

The Guests: While I do wish that a few more of my friends could have been there, I don’t feel like we missed inviting anyone or that we invited anyone we shouldn’t have. Most importantly though I got to spent a good chunk of time with friends/younger family members and have fun with them, as did Shawn.

The Atmosphere: It was relaxed but not casual and personally I really liked that. Our candle-heavy décor and the venue itself also helped to create an almost nightclub-like atmosphere that naturally lended itself to plenty of dancing and drinking.

The Alcohol: Open bars are great; open bars that offer a wide range of alcohol are even better and that’s what I liked about ours, the variety it offered. We also only ran out of one thing, dark rum so that was good too.

The Music: For me this was the biggie because I love music, I love to dance and sadly, most of the wedding’s I’ve been to have bad music and no one dancing. This was not the case at mine, largely in part because the DJ stuck to the playlist that Shawn and I had carefully created. He mixed everything together in a way that kept the momentum going and also threw in his own well-timed selections. The end results was that a lot of people were dancing

Most of these are topics that I’ve already mentioned in my “how to have a fun wedding” mini-guide (I still need to write one up about alcohol and I promise to do that before this project is wrapped up). While these are all areas that you’re going to consider as part of your wedding planning, I do think that if you come at them from the perspective of having a great time, you’ll end up with more fun results that you and your guests will enjoy.

And yes, I think a good chunk of my guests did have a good time. Many people said they had a lot of fun and I have no doubt that those two dozen or so people who spent lots of time on the dance floor had a great time.

The only complaints I heard was that the music was too loud near the end and that some of the faster songs weren’t to everyone’s taste. But I expected that and I much rather caterer to the people who were out there dancing and having fun (including Shawn and myself) than those who’d just sit around regardless of the music situation.

Also, not everyone was a fan of our beer choice but I’ll discuss that in a future entry because that was certainly a learning point.

My next entry though will be focused on what you the bride can do to have a good time because the truth is, you can have best guests/alcohol/atmosphere/music in the world and still have a crappy time at your wedding if you don’t relax and stop worrying. I know letting go of control is hard but trust me, it can be done and on your actual wedding day, it’s for the best.

Here's One Way To Raise Money For Your Wedding

Well, here’s one way to pay for your wedding: Collect a ton of aluminium cans. A couple in Spokane are paying for their July 31 wedding with the proceeds from the 400,000 cans that they’ve turned in for recycling.

So just how much did they make? $3,800. OK, so that’s not a ton of money and collecting the cans turned into a bit of a community effort but still, it’s a cute story.

The couple also have a website if you want to find out a bit more about them and how they are keeping their wedding costs down.

If you wanted to do this in Ontario I guess you’d want to collect alcohol bottles. I must admit that there have been a few times where, upon seeing the large pile of bottles sitting in my building’s recycling room, I have thought about bagging them up and taking them over to the Beer Store for the deposits.

How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Music

A while ago I started writing a few posts on how to have a fun wedding. I’d like to pick that up with this that is all about the music.

For me, music is one of those things that can make or break a wedding. While I’m pretty open to whatever for the ceremony, the cocktail hour and the dinner, when it’s time to dance, I want to dance but only if the music is right. Otherwise you won't see me out there.

I think a lot of people are the same so in order to get people dancing and having a good time, you have to make sure you have just the right mix.

And that mix starts with either a DJ or an iPod (or iPod-like set-up). Live musicians are wonderful but I do think you should only have them for the ceremony and/or first part of the reception. For the actual dancing portion you need more flexibility and versatility than a live band can give you. Unless the vast majority of your guests are all really into, say jazz, people will get bored listening to the same type of music all night long.

Because of that, you need to offer plenty of variety, especially at the start, so that people get up and move (though do keep in mind that not everyone dances so don't feel bad if some people never make it to the dance floor). Make sure your DJ takes requests and even ask your guests for song ideas in advance (this is especially key if you’re going the iPod route since you’re likely not to have the space and selection that a professional DJ would have).

At least for the first hour or so, include a few songs for the “older” people. This can be anything from classic slow songs (think Nat King Cole) to upbeat Beatles tracks. It’s generally a safe rule to say that as the night progressives, things can get faster and noisier but at the start, do a cater a bit to the older crowd and get them moving.

While it’s true that you need to ultimately trust your DJ to make the right song selections, you know your guests better than s/he does and because of that I strongly encourage you to detail out what kind of stuff should be played, as well as specific must-plays. Ideally at least a few of these must-plays have a strong connection to some of your guests (maybe a song you used to listen to a lot in high school or university) and will get them dancing.

At the same time, this is your wedding and I’m totally support the idea of a “Do Not Play” list. Do let your DJ know of any forbidden songs that you absolutely do not want played. After all, it’s important that you have fun too!

Here's a great blog post former another Toronto blogger that's packed with some great wedding song choices.

Custom M&Ms & Promo Codes

By the time you’re reading this, I will have just gotten back from my trip to New York City.
One of the things I was originally planning on picking up while I was there were some customized M&Ms to use as our favours.

The reason why I was going to pick them up in NY is because Times Square is home to a big M&M store and I was thinking that by picking them up there, I could avoid having to pay for shipping. Sadly, you can’t get personalized M&Ms at M&M stores, you have to buy then online. Sort of annoying…

Thankfully, through the magic of Google, I was able to find some promo codes that at least make buying these things a little cheaper. I did a test order with the Thanks15 code and it totally worked but I think I’d save more with the free shipping code so I’m going to try that when we go to make our actual order.

Hopefully a few of you will find those codes and the site they live on, RetailMeNot.com, useful. While that site definitely caters to Americans, you can find the odd promo code that can save us Canadians some cash when we’re doing our online shopping.

Some Amusing Reading

I’m quite busy today with addressing envelopes, tracking down addresses, updating our wedding website and figure out what else we have left to do (less than three months to go!).

So because of that, I’m skipping writing a real blog entry and instead am going to point you over in the direction of this funny blog entry over on Groom With A View.

Make sure to read the Cracked article that he refers to; it’s a bit course but it’s certainly educational.

Stag & Does

On Saturday night, I went to my first stag and doe and I have to say I had a pretty good time (and not just because Shawn and I won the 50/50 draw).

From my understanding, stag and does are really a rural Ontario thing and aren’t usually seen in Toronto. That being said, I have seen a few posts on wedding boards about where in Toronto one could hold a stag and doe and of course Toronto is filled with former residents of rural Ontario who head back to their hometowns to host their wedding fundraiser. So because of those reasons, below are a few tips for those of you out there who plan on hosting a stag and doe.

• Get help: A stag and doe can be a lot of work so make sure you have people who can help you out with setting it up, running it and taking it down. Ideally, these same helpers can sell tickets and assist with obtaining/purchasing prizes
• Consider a theme: Yeah, themes can be a hassle but they can also make planning things a bit easier and they give you another way to “sell” your event
• Keep the ticket price low: $10 is fair; maybe even $15 if you plan to get fancy about the food
• Provide plenty of food: The food we were given on Saturday was more than appropriate and it never ran out. Offerings included veggies, chips, squares and of course the must-have build-your-own bun platters
• Keep the games simple: Popular events at Saturday’s stag and doe included the twoonie toss, the raffles and the game where you buy glow sticks to give to the bride or groom and whoever ends up with the most has to do something embarrassing
• Have an MC: I don’t think you need to have a DJ at a stag and doe (though it’s certainly nice if you can) but you do need someone with a mic who can run the show and get people participating in the various events

As for the “ethics” behind throwing a event intended to raise money for your wedding: I think that if stag and does are the norm in your circle, it’s fine to have one. Just don’t be too greedy and make sure that everyone, including yourself, has a great time!

Have A Fun Wedding: The Guests

Part two in an on-going series about making your wedding fun.

This is an easy concept: To have a fun wedding, you need fun guests.

Now, that’s not to say that every guest needs to like a character out of Party Monster. You’re talking about your wedding after all and so you’re likely inviting more than a few people who you wouldn’t be inviting out on a Saturday night to the club.

But, unless you’re having a super-small wedding or your parents have hijacked the guest list, you should have space to invite at least of few life-of-the-party type people.

These are the individuals who will get people talking, laughing and dancing and they’ll help to make your wedding a memorable, enjoyable event. I know that putting together a guest list can be one of the hardest parts of wedding planning but if you’re short on space and/or money and you have to choose between that high school friend who you haven’t seen in years and a newer but really fun friend, go with the fun friend.

Then have your fun friends “work” for you by strategically placing them at tables where they can get spread their fun-loving nature. If all your fun friends are friends, do split them up but put their tables beside each other so that they can still socialize with each other as well as with your other guests.

If you have any fun friends who are big into dancing, chat with them in advance and let them know that you’re counting on them to get the dance party underway (no pressure!).

Your guests are a tremendously important part of your wedding and who you invite can really impact the atmosphere so if you want a fun wedding, make sure you’ve got at least a few guests who you can count on to bring the party.

Have A Fun Wedding: The Atmosphere

Want to have a fun wedding? Then make sure your guests have fun. The first in a multi-part series...

* Creating a Fun Atmosphere *

Creating that perfect atmosphere is probably the hardest thing to do at a wedding. No amount of money can guarantee it (in fact, too much money can actually prevent a fun atmosphere) nor any person or service. A fun atmosphere requires that perfect mix of elements, timing and just plain good luck.

So while I can’t offer any promises on how to guarantee a good

time for all, I do have some ideas...

1. Take Your Guests' Point Of View: Think of the words you’re using to describe your wedding: romantic, elegant, gorgeous. None of these words are synonyms for fun and for a lot of people they mean boring. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to trade fantasy for frat. But do understand that you are going to have to do a bit of work to make your wedding fun.

Take stock of who you’re inviting ask yourself what they would find fun. Live entertainment? Tons of food? Bass-heavy music? Then work these “fun” elements in at natural points. For example, bring the live performers out during dinner. Or, after 10 pm, turn the music over to your favourite DJ from Wrongbar.

Also, be aware that many people aren’t comfortable with “fanciness”, even if fanciness just means wearing a suit. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to ditch your dreams of a black tie wedding. Just be aware of how your guests might feel and then try to work in some kind of counterbalance.

2. Hire The Right Vendors: Of course you want vendors who are pros and professional but make sure those who will be dealing with your guests are also friendly, relaxed and understand that doing their job shouldn’t take away from the guests’ experience. For example, make sure your photographer won’t be barking orders at family or jumping in front of grandma’s camera. And check to see that you bar staff knows how to make your guests favourite drinks.

3. Think Of The Small Details: Can’t afford the Beatles impersonators and that sushi bar you know your friends would all love? That’s fine; just "fun" things up using small details: Have your place settings include a colour coordinated shot, where a brightly coloured crinoline under your desk and have the pianist/string quartet/whoever play your favourite songs while everyone waits for the ceremony to bring. Stuff like this relaxes people and a relaxed crowd leads to a fun time.

4. Set A Good Example: Most importantly, make sure you, your other half and everyone in your bridal party show that you’re all having a great time. Smile, giggle, laugh and make sure to stop and talk to your guests. Ideally your “funness” is contagious and will spread amongst your guests.