One of the biggest sources of stress for any bride are the RSVPs. I know it seems like such a simple concept, simply let the bride know whether you can or cannot attend by a certain date using the pre-addressed and stamped card, but the bridal boards are filled with stories about people who just don’t get this.
Thankfully, I wasn’t one of those brides. Our RSVP date was Friday, July 16. By the start of that week, we’d heard back from almost everyone except for a few of my friends and some family on Shawn’s father’s side.
Shawn, being the impatient boy that he is, didn’t want to give people until the actual deadline to get back to us so I found myself emailing or Facebooking my friends prior to July 16, asking them what’s up.
I suspected that I hadn’t heard back from some of them because they knew they couldn’t make it and were maybe embarrassed to tell me. I don’t know if I was right about the embarrassed part but I was right about the them-not-coming-part.
I also heard back from one friend who said she was pretty sure she could make it but wouldn’t know until a few days before the wedding because of her work. I told her I would love it if she could come but then proceeded on the assumption that she wasn’t coming (the venue told us it would be easier to add people in them take them out). Turns out my assumption was right as she didn’t end up coming.
All of Shawn’s slow-to-respond family did attend. I’m not sure what was up with them not getting back to us sooner, after Shawn confirmed their attendance over the phone they did send in the RSVP cards so it’s not like they lost those.
One family did have a very good reason for the delay though; they had just had a new baby and were taking her to her first wedding on July 17. They were only going to come to our wedding if all went well there and thankfully it did.
Overall, I think Shawn was more stressed about the RSVPs than I was, probably because I’d spend time on the bridal boards and realized that compared to some, we were in good shape.
Many people do cut it close with sending in the cards so don’t be surprised if you’re two weeks out from your RSVP date and are still missing lots of cards. Only start making “contact” plans when you hit that one week mark and even then you may want to wait until the actual date has passed before you start getting in touch with people.
Getting the thing actually in the mail seems to be a real challenge for some so make it easier for people by giving them an opportunity to give you their RSVP cards in person. Have a family gathering or a party with friends coming up? Remind people that they can give you their cards then. Or tell co-workers that they can just drop the cards of on your desk.
Another trick is to give people the option of Facebooking or emailing you their respond though if you go this route, still include RSVP cards in your invites. This will make the old people happy and to be honest, I think it’s easier to organize physical cards than emails and Facebook messages.
Glad to hear your RSVPs were relatively stress free. We've had big problems with ours. We're now 2 weeks past the deadline and still have 23 guests (over 20% of the guest list) who haven't returned the cards including 6(!) members of the bridal party and the groom's parents. We've called everyone and know who's coming and who's not, but still need the cards for the meal choices. It's pretty frustrating.
ReplyDeleteUg, that's no fun! Maybe it's time for a light-hearted Facebook status along the lines of "Hey, if you want to eat, return your meal card!"
ReplyDelete