5 Common Wedding Controversies

While I’m not a big participant, I do love to reading bridal messages boards. And no matter which board I read, the same stress-inducing topics keep coming up over and over again.

Today I want to highlight the top five controversies that I’ve seen. These are the decisions that brides make that are most likely to get mixed opinions from guests, friends, family members and busy bodies.

So here there are, in no particular order:

1. Having a cash bar
   Let’s be honest, everyone wants an open bar and many etiquette experts out there will tell you that a cash bar is quite rude. But for some couples, an open bar just isn’t in the budget and in that case, I think a cash bar is fine.
   
   That being said, do avoid having your guests pay market price for their booze. See if you can arrange to host a twoonie bar or have an open bar for maybe the first two hours after dinner.
   
   
2. Scheduling your wedding for a holiday/long weekend
   I don’t care how romantic you think it will be, don’t schedule your wedding on Christmas or New Year’s and only do Halloween if you’re going to do in some kind of Halloween style. All other holidays though I think are fair game (well, maybe not Easter for some).
   
   I’m OK with long weekend weddings and actually prefer them if I’m travelling somewhere. However, a lot of people hate long weekend weddings, particularly in the summer. This is one of those decisions where you may find yourself having to decide between what works best for you and what works best for the majority of your guests.
   
   
3. No kids allowed
   You don’t want screaming brats at your big day? I totally support your decision and if your guests can’t leave their spawn alone for a few hours (nursing babies obviously excepted), well, they have bigger issues.
   
   I do though believe that you need to have a consistent policy when it comes to kids. I don’t think the idea of “close family can bring kids but you friend, you can’t” is very fair. Either kids are allowed or they aren’t.
   
   
4. Asking for money on the invite
   No, just no. I don’t care if you plan on using some kind of cutesy poem to get your point across or say “No boxed gifts”, it’s just tacky to mention gifts on the invite.
   
   Instead, put this kind of info on your website or spread it via word of mouth.
   
   
5. Having a B-list
   Personally I have nothing against having a B-list and I totally get why some weddings need to have one. But Shawn finds them very offensive and so we didn’t do one (plus our venue has enough space that this wasn’t really an issue).
   
   Ideally a B-list is a very subtle thing so that people never know that they were a second choice guest however that won’t always be possible. In those situations it’s best to be honest (so no pretending the invite was lost in the mail) and explain that due to space/money/other restrictions, you simply couldn’t invite everyone on the first round.