Have A Fun Wedding: The Atmosphere

Want to have a fun wedding? Then make sure your guests have fun. The first in a multi-part series...

* Creating a Fun Atmosphere *

Creating that perfect atmosphere is probably the hardest thing to do at a wedding. No amount of money can guarantee it (in fact, too much money can actually prevent a fun atmosphere) nor any person or service. A fun atmosphere requires that perfect mix of elements, timing and just plain good luck.

So while I can’t offer any promises on how to guarantee a good

time for all, I do have some ideas...

1. Take Your Guests' Point Of View: Think of the words you’re using to describe your wedding: romantic, elegant, gorgeous. None of these words are synonyms for fun and for a lot of people they mean boring. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to trade fantasy for frat. But do understand that you are going to have to do a bit of work to make your wedding fun.

Take stock of who you’re inviting ask yourself what they would find fun. Live entertainment? Tons of food? Bass-heavy music? Then work these “fun” elements in at natural points. For example, bring the live performers out during dinner. Or, after 10 pm, turn the music over to your favourite DJ from Wrongbar.

Also, be aware that many people aren’t comfortable with “fanciness”, even if fanciness just means wearing a suit. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to ditch your dreams of a black tie wedding. Just be aware of how your guests might feel and then try to work in some kind of counterbalance.

2. Hire The Right Vendors: Of course you want vendors who are pros and professional but make sure those who will be dealing with your guests are also friendly, relaxed and understand that doing their job shouldn’t take away from the guests’ experience. For example, make sure your photographer won’t be barking orders at family or jumping in front of grandma’s camera. And check to see that you bar staff knows how to make your guests favourite drinks.

3. Think Of The Small Details: Can’t afford the Beatles impersonators and that sushi bar you know your friends would all love? That’s fine; just "fun" things up using small details: Have your place settings include a colour coordinated shot, where a brightly coloured crinoline under your desk and have the pianist/string quartet/whoever play your favourite songs while everyone waits for the ceremony to bring. Stuff like this relaxes people and a relaxed crowd leads to a fun time.

4. Set A Good Example: Most importantly, make sure you, your other half and everyone in your bridal party show that you’re all having a great time. Smile, giggle, laugh and make sure to stop and talk to your guests. Ideally your “funness” is contagious and will spread amongst your guests.

Yes, You Will Fight

There’s something that all engaged couples will experience regardless of the size, expense or theme of their wedding: arguing. It’s not a bad or unusual thing and, in most cases, it’s not something that should be overanalysed.

You’re two people, with different tastes, priorities and levels of wedding knowledge, and together you’re planning a party like no party you’ve ever planned before. Of course you’re going to fight, it’s only natural.

On Saturday, Shawn and I got into an argument over invites. It was a classic cliché of a fight that started out with me asking for his opinion on a certain design. His eyes zoomed right past that design and locked in on the price (which was actually quite reasonable) and it was all downhill from there.

It wasn’t a particularly bad fight but it did make me think that when it comes to arguing about wedding stuff, there’s a few important points to keep in mind...

#1. You Likely Know More About Weddings Than He Does: So I’m assuming here that you reader are a bride in a heterosexual relationship. If this is the case, you probably know vastly more about weddings than he does and this knowledge gap can lead to many misunderstandings. Your groom may not be aware of many bits of etiquette or tradition (for example, supplying RSVP cards with stamped envelopes) that you view as common sense or general knowledge. If this is the problem, calmly and patiently explain why certain things are done a certain way.

#2. You Likely Care More About The Wedding Than He Does: Again, I’m assuming you’re a straight bride. This point might sting a little but let’s be honest, who’s doing most of the planning? Who’s thinking of all the little details? Who’s sitting here, reading this blog? Yeah, you. And that’s why you’re fighting about spending extra on chair covers.

#3. He Might Have Some Good Points: To be fair, your other half might actually some good ideas and legit concerns. I mean, can you really afford $20 per person extra for that midnight buffet? Make sure to actually listen to what he’s saying, instead of planning your reply back, and don’t interrupt. It’s hard I know, but this approach can help bring a quick and positive resolution to a fight.

#4. And So Might You: When it’s your turn to make your case, speak clearly, calmly and logically. Don’t just open your mouth and let the words flow. While this might feel good at the time, it usually doesn’t lead to any kind of resolution, at least not one you want. Also, whenever possible, spin your answers so that they address his concerns. This shows that you listen to him and understand his point of view.

#5. Keep Wedding Fights About The Wedding: Finally, don’t use a fight about the guest list to go off and yell at him about how you hate his friends. Fight fairly by staying on topic, not getting personal and not using insults. If you’re finding that your fight is just bringing up more drama, declare an end to it and if necessary, leave the room. This doesn’t mean that you can’t discuss that topic again, it just means that you both need a time out first.

As for mine and Shawn’s fight about invites, well, we didn’t resolve too much though we did figure out that the invites I was looking at are completely within our budget and I think Shawn now has a better understanding of why we have a colour scheme.

Something Else To Pick Up

I forgot to mention something in Sunday’s post about organizational tools. You’re probably going to want to also pick up a strong, durable accordion file folder.

The point of this folder is to provide a safe, organized space for contracts, receipts and other important bits of paper. Fancier planners often have folder features built-in but you still might want to pick up an accordion-style one, particularly if you can’t fully close those built-in folders (the last thing you want is for all your paperwork to spill out when you’re headed into the car with your planner.)

Before picking up your folder, figure out how many sections you’ll need. At minimum, you’ll probably want separate spaces for these topics: Cake; Dress; Flowers; Music; Other Clothing; Photographer, Stationary and Venue. Some people say you should have a separate area for each vendor and I think that’s not a bad piece of advice.

I recommend trying to also pick up a folder that’s made out of plastic. This thing is going to be holding some pretty important documents and is also likely going to be spending plenty of time sitting on your kitchen table and counters so it’s worth spending an extra few dollars to get a folder that going to be protected against wayward glasses of wine.

In sales news, you have one week left to save the taxes on bridesmaids’ dress over at Bridal & Beyond. The Mississauga store location is also hosting the Maggie Sottero Fall 200 trunk show where you can save up to $250 on your new Maggie. For more details on both of these sales, head over here.

Midnight Madness Sale This Saturday

Another big sale is happening this Saturday, this time at Bridal Image in Mississauga:

MOONLIGHT MADNESS
BRIDAL BLOWOUT SALE

Saturday October 24 | 4 pm - 12 am

Great savings!
• Gowns starting at $99
• A huge selection of "off the rack" gowns!
• Secret savings to be unveiled

Come early!
• Limited number of dressing rooms
• Five gowns per bride

Bridal Image
720 Burnhamthorpe Rd, W. Unit 17
Mississauga, ON
905-566-0375

Getting Organized – Physical Tools

*Getting organized is one of those things that really varies from person to person and what works for me might not work best for you. Please do tweak and twist the advice below into something that works for your organizational style.*

When planning your wedding, you’re going to likely have two sets of tools: Online ones and physical ones. Today, let’s look at the essential physical tools.

- Your wedding box: Get a plastic storage container or sturdy cardboard box that’s big enough to hold the stuff listed below, your RSVP cards, bridal magazines and a few other odds and ends. But make sure that it’s not so big you have to store it in a garage or locker or something other out of the way location. The point of this box is for it to be an accessible, useful spot to point your wedding stuff.

- A planner or address book: There are dozens of wedding planners out there, some packed with advice, others focused more on “capturing memories” while others are just overpriced address books.

Before buying anything, think about how you’ll use this book. Will you really use it as a diary? What about all those budgeting sheets? Are you more likely to do all that sort of stuff on your computer?

What you really want in a planner is place to write down all the contact info for your vendors. Sure, you’ll have this online, likely in your inbox, but it’s also good to have all of that info in one place that you can easily grab and search through, regardless of whether or not you have access to a computer and the internet.

Again, be aware of getting something too big. For many brides, a bag-sized address book will do.

- Your look book: This is a book where you can stick all those ripped out bridal magazine pages. You can get pretty fancy with this but really, the easiest thing to do is buy a one of those big, coil-bound notebooks you used to use in high school. Get one with sturdy covers but skip on the ones with dividers. Instead, create your own custom dividers using glued in bits of coloured paper. Some suggested areas are: Décor; Flowers; Cake; Food & Drink; My Dress; Photos (for examples of wedding photos you like); Stationary; Wedding Party Outfits; Other

Also grab a glue stick. While liquid cement might seem fancier, a grade school glue stick is a lot less messy.

Been Away...

Sorry for the lack of posts these last two weeks. I was gone to New York City for a week and I've been spending the last few days on catching up on things I missed while I was gone. But I will start posting regularly again this weekend.

In the meantime, check out this blog that looks at the groom's view of things.

A List Of Possible Photographers

So far I’ve received some amazing photographer recommendations and I figured that I should share them with you:

Rannie – my friend Bev recommended this guy. He’s not a full-time wedding photographer but then we’re not really interested in someone who just does weddings.

Mondo – another Bev recommendation and another not-just-weddings photographer. I love some of these shots.

Jill Promoli – my old classmate Heather told me to check out this woman’s work and I’m glad I did. Like Mondo, she does some really eye-catching shots.

Wandering Eye – Erin, one of my readers, booked this guy. She thinks he might be offering more than we need (his packages include prints) but he takes some great photos and is easy to work with so maybe look him up if you’re looking for more elaborate packages.

In Bloom – Another recommendation from Erin. This woman offers her services a la carte and charges a fairly reasonable $235 an hour for a high season wedding (and yes, you get a high-res DVD of all the shots).

Boston Images – Now these guys are full-time wedding photographers but their work is anything but “traditional”. I hear though that they’re a bit on the higher price end.

If you have any more photographer suggests, please feel free to leave a comment of email me at wedtoblog@gmail.com.