How To Have A Fun Wedding: The Bride

As promised, a post on how you, the bride, can have a fun wedding…

1. Give People Jobs: It’s an obvious one but it’s also a hard one because it means giving up control. It’s also one of the best decisions you can make. Assign people tasks and let them worry about those jobs, not you. As long as you’ve pick responsible people and given clear, written-out instructions, it’ll be fine.
   
2. Breath: People always say that their wedding day flew by and they don’t remember much. This always makes me a bit sad because this a big day, don’t you want to remember as much of it as possible? My trick to slowing things down and taking them in was to mentally and physically pause, take a few deep breaths and just observe what was going on around me. At other times I mentally told myself to pay attention and remember this moment.
   
3. Eat: I’m not just taking just about dinner but the whole day. You’re not going to lose that last little bit of weight on your actual day so eat a proper breakfast as well as something for lunch. And yes, do eat your dinner, even if that means having to sit down and “ignore” your guests for a bit.
   
4. Drink Smart: I avoided any alcohol before the ceremony because I wanted to minimize bathroom trips but I do think that depending on your metabolism/history with alcohol, you can get away with a drink or two. But since alcohol tends to make people more emotional, don’t over do it, wait until later in the evening to really start partying.
   
5. Set a “Partying” Start Time: Speaking of which, have an approximate time when you stop being the polite bride who nicely socializes with everyone and becomes the “fun” bride who grabs a drink and heads out onto the dance floor.
   
   The truth is, if you want to have fun at your wedding you’re likely going to have to proactively create time for yourself to let loose. This advice might come across as a bit selfish here but trust me, you’re going to want to do this.

Yes, I Did Have Fun At My Wedding

I have to say that not only did I have a lot of fun at my own wedding but that it was the most fun I’d ever had at a wedding. Shawn also feels the same way. Here’s why I think we had such a good time…

The Guests: While I do wish that a few more of my friends could have been there, I don’t feel like we missed inviting anyone or that we invited anyone we shouldn’t have. Most importantly though I got to spent a good chunk of time with friends/younger family members and have fun with them, as did Shawn.

The Atmosphere: It was relaxed but not casual and personally I really liked that. Our candle-heavy décor and the venue itself also helped to create an almost nightclub-like atmosphere that naturally lended itself to plenty of dancing and drinking.

The Alcohol: Open bars are great; open bars that offer a wide range of alcohol are even better and that’s what I liked about ours, the variety it offered. We also only ran out of one thing, dark rum so that was good too.

The Music: For me this was the biggie because I love music, I love to dance and sadly, most of the wedding’s I’ve been to have bad music and no one dancing. This was not the case at mine, largely in part because the DJ stuck to the playlist that Shawn and I had carefully created. He mixed everything together in a way that kept the momentum going and also threw in his own well-timed selections. The end results was that a lot of people were dancing

Most of these are topics that I’ve already mentioned in my “how to have a fun wedding” mini-guide (I still need to write one up about alcohol and I promise to do that before this project is wrapped up). While these are all areas that you’re going to consider as part of your wedding planning, I do think that if you come at them from the perspective of having a great time, you’ll end up with more fun results that you and your guests will enjoy.

And yes, I think a good chunk of my guests did have a good time. Many people said they had a lot of fun and I have no doubt that those two dozen or so people who spent lots of time on the dance floor had a great time.

The only complaints I heard was that the music was too loud near the end and that some of the faster songs weren’t to everyone’s taste. But I expected that and I much rather caterer to the people who were out there dancing and having fun (including Shawn and myself) than those who’d just sit around regardless of the music situation.

Also, not everyone was a fan of our beer choice but I’ll discuss that in a future entry because that was certainly a learning point.

My next entry though will be focused on what you the bride can do to have a good time because the truth is, you can have best guests/alcohol/atmosphere/music in the world and still have a crappy time at your wedding if you don’t relax and stop worrying. I know letting go of control is hard but trust me, it can be done and on your actual wedding day, it’s for the best.

Headed To The CNE?

Yesterday I was at the CNE and while I was there I noticed that home supply stores Bowring and Benix were there, selling off a wide variety of vases that would be ideal for centrepieces. Bowring was also selling those coloured décor gels that some people use in their centrepieces.

Everything was being offered at a reduced price and I have no doubt that at least some of these sale prices really were sales. I was actually at a Bowring last weekend and noticed that it had some nice though not exactly cheap vase option. Now, at the Ex, vases that were going for $40 at the store are on sale for $20. OK, still not dirt cheap but not a crazy price for a vase, especially if you’re creating the centrepieces yourself.

I’m not sure what the quantity situation is like but since at least some of what’s on sale is current stock, so something could probably be worked out. And at least at Bowring, you can leave your purchases there until you’re ready to go home so that you don’t have to walk around with a dozen glass vases.

I wouldn’t make a special trip to the Ex for these vendors unless you’ve already decided to use vases from one of those stores however, if you’re headed to the CNE anyways, you might as well head over to the Direct Energy Centre and check out what they have to offer.

Write Down The Details

I’m sure you’ve already been told dozens of times by now to get all the key details – start times, end times, deposit deals, etc. – in writing. And while I certainly add my voice to that chorus, I want to also take a moment to encourage you to also get all the little details in writing too.

Now, people say “don’t sweat the small stuff” but on your wedding day, someone will be sweating the small stuff. If you’re a super-carefree, go-with-the-flow kind of person, you might not be the sweater, but someone, your mom, your maid of honour, your venue contact, will at some point be staring at something and wondering if it’s looking the way it should. And that’s where having the small details documented comes in.


How these details are organized is up to you, the point is that you and those associated with you have a printed reference to everything from your timeline to your flowers to your cake. This way everyone’s on the same page, people are better organized (and therefor ideally calmer) and issues can be spotted and dealt with earlier.

Another reason for documenting the little details is that having all that stuff written down makes it a lot easier to get a refund, should things not work out. This seems to be a situation that pops up the most with florists and decorating, maybe because there’s so much “imagining” and “visioning” going on. Also, many decorators and florists sell packages that then get modified and well, if those modifications aren’t written down, you can see how things can easily go to a disappointing place.

The point is, it’s much easier to get money back if you can say, “Hey, there’s the email where you promise that for this price, I’ll get package A but with roses instead of lilies and no underlighting on the head table,” than to say, “Hey, I know the contact says that I’m paying for package A but don’t you remember how we talking about changing some stuff?”

A few details that you’ll want to get written down:

• All flower types and colours being used as well as approximate quantities; ribbons, bouquet jewellery and other related items should be detailed out


• Such vase/container/centrepiece details as size, shape, colour, quantities


• Such cake stand details as size, shape, material, any extras/enhancements


• Drapping details would include colours, fabric types, sizes and placement. This is an area where ideally you have a photo of what the drapping should look like, as well as a photo of what fabric(s) is being used


• Chair cover details would include colour, fabric type and any extras/enhancements. This is another area where a photo is ideal


• Your caterer should provide you with a detailed list of what exactly is being served and while you don’t need to know how many baby potatoes each person is getting, you will want numbers for your hors d’oeuvres and possibly even your midnight snack


• Bar details should touch on both alcoholic and non-alcoholic offerings and could even look at what types of glasses and garnishes will be available (though even I’ll admit that might be too detailed for some)

Registry Wrap-Up

So how have you spent your weekend? We got to spend ours going to Home Outfitters twice – once Friday night, then again today, to pick up presents.

While I love getting presents, it would have been nice if we could have just made one trip. However, the Bay/Home Outfitters registry program isn’t the most organized creation.

It’s also sort of slow. While they do warn you that you might have to wait a bit for your pick-up store to get your present in stock, they don’t state that waiting is the norm. Well, at least it’s the norm at the Sherway Gardens Bay. We waited about a month for our luggage, and then we only found out that it was there because we called.

Currently we’re waiting for a few other items that

were purchased from The Bay at least two weeks ago now. But I believe that today’s pick-up at Home Outfitters will be out last registry-related trip out there so that’s good.

Overall I have to say that we had a better experience with Home Outfitters than the Bay. The staff was pleasanter, items arrived quicker and it never forgot to call us when something arrived.

Home Outfitters also said that it would take 10% off the Dyson we registered for as part of its registry completion program. The Bay has the same 10% completion program however there that discount only applies to certain departments and sadly the Dyson doesn’t fall within one of them (in case you’re wondering the discount basically applies to china, glassware, cookware, linens, small appliances and most kitchen-related stuff, minus major appliances).

Interestingly, we had more people buy items from The Bay than Home Outfitters. I’m assuming that’s because Bays are generally located inside malls and can be a bit easier to get to than the big-box style Home Outfitters.

Because of that, I certainly wouldn’t recommend registering at just Home Outfitters. As well, the Bay offers a far greater selection of items, particularly if you want to start a china collection.

So here’s what I do recommend: Register at both stores but place any bigger items (like a Dyson) on your Home Outfitters list. I also recommend placing smaller items, wine charms for example, on your Home Outfitters list since it seems to go a quicker job at getting those items in.

I know a lot of brides aren’t big fans of registering but while it can be a bit time consuming, it can also be fun and it makes all those people who rather buy physical gifts than give cash happy.

Just think of this as your opportunity to get all those things that you would normally never buy. For example, we registered for a steamer and we got it and trust me, a steamer is something we never would have just gone out and bought.

A Trio of Photos

Below are a trio of photos taken by my sister's fiancé. I'm hoping to post a few more, including some professional ones, once they come in.

Your Wedding Day Plan

While I don’t think it’s possible to have a stress-free wedding, I think you can minimize the stress by being as organized as possible.

One way to do that is to have a wedding day “plan”, a simple-but-detailed-pack Word doc that you can email/give to your bridal party, venue and other key people.

I think everyone’s plan will look a little different depending on her own situation (and how detailed-oriented she it) but here’s an outline of how my plan looked:

Title: Lindsay & Shawn’s Wedding, Saturday, August 7, 2010

Total Guest Count:

Meal Breakdown

Beef:

Salmon:

Veggie:

Timeline

Friday, Aug 6, 2010

Details about delivery of our alcohol & décor

Saturday, Aug 7, 2010

A detailed breakdown on what was to happen when. Make sure to include the following items (assuming they’re applicable):

- Wake-up time

- Any times about when certain people should be meeting you/your partner

- Hair & make-up start/end times

- Photographer start & end time

- Other photography-related items such as when you have to be at, and leave, a specific location

- Officiate arrival time

- Live musician arrival time

- Bridal party arrival at ceremony site

- Ceremony time

- Bar start & end time

- Bridal party arrival at reception site

- Grand entrance

- Dinner start & end time

- Start time for any speeches

- DJ start & end time

- First dance

- Cake cutting

- Bouquet & garter toss

- Midnight snack

- Last call

- Last dance

Monday, Aug 9, 2010

Details on us coming back to the Berkeley to pick our stuff up

Contact Info

Bride:
Groom:

Best man:
Maid of honour:

Décor helpers:

Bakery:

DJ:

Flowers:

Live Musicians:

Minister:

Photographer:

Hair:

Make-up:

Floor Plan Guide

The Berkeley has an Excel-sheet floorplan that I marked up and included in my wedding day plan. I used this space in the Word doc to expand upon my markings.

I started by listing off all of the tables, what their table names were (since we didn’t use numbers) and how many seats should be at each table.

Then I commented on the placement of some of the other tables that were used so:

Table A = Cake table

Table B = DJ set up

Table C = Escort card table
Etc.

Other Notes

Down here I mentioned other key things that people, particularly the venue and my bridal party, would need to know, for example, that we wanted purple uplighting and that tea lights should be placed wherever it made sense

Be wary of putting in too many details. Try to keep your wedding day plan to about two pages in length; any longer and you risk people being scared off by the length. You can also put together a separate, more detailed-heavy document for people like your décors helpers who need more instructions.